


Blind-Sided

by JGVFHL



Category: Lucifer (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, M/M, Mob Boss Odin, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23633818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JGVFHL/pseuds/JGVFHL
Summary: Agent Morningstar's new assignment isn't going to be easy. Odin Allfather's organized crime ring has been running rampant in the city for decades, with no one able to decipher any part of it, not even who was involved, and now it's up to Lucifer to go undercover to figure out the chain of command.
Relationships: AKA "When Hell Freezes Over", Loki (Marvel)/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wanted to make sure that something is clear while reading. The italicized text is describing past events, and the plain text is describing current events. That should make things a little clearer. Enjoy!

Lucifer stared blankly at the tabletop, barely aware of the room around him. If he heard the scrape of the chair opposite him, or saw the movement of the person sitting down, he didn’t show it. He just sat there, silent and slightly slumped in his seat. His hands were clasped in his lap in an effort to stop picking at the scabs starting to form on his face. The bruising around his left eye had reached its worst--the red and purple had surrendered to blues, greens, and browns encircling the socket. It hurt to blink, but that was the least of the pain.

The person now seated across from him set down a recorder between them on the table and pushed the start button. “Today is April second, 2019, start time is…” He checked his watch. “Ten thirty-eight A.M. We’ll start at the beginning, Agent Morningstar.”

Pierce’s mouth twitched. Probably the closest thing to a smile that man could manage. “Why the long face? The mission was a success, despite the number of rules you broke.”

Lucifer was silent, but the glare he aimed at Pierce spoke murderous volumes. How dare he call this mess a success. “Are you absolutely sure there was no one else that could have done this report?” he said in a voice that matched the glare. “Anyone who might possess a shred of human decency? Some empathy, perhaps?”

“No,” Pierce said flatly. He pulled a folder out of a bag on the floor by his chair. “So you’d be doing both of us a favor by answering the questions truthfully and to the fullest extent of your memory. Let’s start at the gala, shall we? That is where this whole thing started, isn’t it?”

The gala. Lucifer hadn’t thought of it in months. “You could say that,” he answered icily.

“Yes or no, please.”  


Lucifer gave him a slow and tired look. “Yes, the gala is where I first met him.”

“Use names whenever possible, Morningstar. Fewer misinterpretations.”

Of course, they wanted names. Lucifer sighed, closing his eyes and bowing his head for a few seconds. He didn’t want to use his name. Names dragged up memories. He’d had enough of those. Damn this report. “Loki,” he said before raising his head. “I met Loki at that gala.”

“You two talked?” Pierce asked.

“Yes, of course we talked,” Lucifer said, beginning to get annoyed by the questioning already. “It was a party, that’s what people do at parties. Not that you’d know.”

Pierce blinked, then forced a tiny smile. “I’ll ignore that last comment.”  


“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Lucifer replied. It came out harsher than it needed to be, but he was in pain, and he didn’t like Pierce. A little friction was inevitable.

Pierce cleared his throat. “Why don’t you tell me what happened at the gala? Start there.”

“The gala,” Lucifer began, hiding none of his distaste for the situation, “hosted by long-suspected, and soon-to-be convicted, crime boss Odin Allfather at his sumptuous rooms at the Asgard Hotel and ballroom, was the easiest part of the whole case.”

_The Asgard Hotel was one of the finest of its kind in the city. Its kind being five-star hotels, of which there were relatively few from which to choose, but it was still impressive. The semi-neoclassical building stood ten stories, with the top two floors reserved for Odin and his closest allies. So far, little was known about those people. If Odin was good at one thing, it was keeping secrets. Rumors circulated that he gave the top positions to his children, although those rumors were hard to believe when they couldn’t even agree on how many children he had; the numbers varied from one to three depending on whom you asked. Other hypotheses, ones put forth by the agency, suggested those top few were business owners, or weapons dealers hiding out in the big city. Those seemed more reliable, but had just as much proof as the rest of them--none._

_Lucifer’s job was setting the record straight by finding out just how this operation… well, operated. To do that, he found himself staring up at the Asgard Hotel, a new person. Lucifer was attending the gala hosted by Odin and his command for various wealthy citizens of dubious morals, but not as himself. Lucas Morrigan was the name he’d created. Chloe, his partner in the agency, had complained it was too close to his real name, but their superiors overruled her. He liked the name. Plus, its similarity to his own made sure the Cocktail Party Phenomenon still held true. People are keen listeners when it comes to their names, so the closer his false identity was to his own, the more convincing it would be._

_Lucifer took his eyes off the pillared facade of the hotel to turn and thank his driver. Another agent, Ella. She waved and gave him a thumbs-up before pulling away from the curb. Excitable as ever. He looked over his outfit for imperfections (There were none, of course. Lucifer knew his way around a white-tie event.) and patted his breast pocket to make sure his invitation was still there, which it was. Confident in his appearance, he headed towards the double doors into the lobby of the hotel._

_After showing his invitation to the porter by the elevators, he was ushered into an elevator of people in equally fine evening attire. He did his best to check for concealed weapons without drawing attention by staring. Elevator etiquette was of the utmost importance in any circumstance. If you weren’t alone in one with the person of your choice and one of you pinned to the wall, then decorum had to be observed. It was a pet peeve of his, the general decorum thing. The modern world was severely lacking in people of class and taste, in his opinion. Not that there was anything wrong with people lacking in class and taste--_

Pierce cleared his throat. “I don’t care what you think of the world, Morningstar. I want facts.”

“Which I was giving, if you had any class or taste to recognize them,” Lucifer replied. Pierce raised an eyebrow at him. “Fine,” Lucifer sighed. “The gala. It was crowded, but Odin is easy to find anywhere. Just look for the old man without an eye.”

“You met Odin that night?”

“No, of course not.” Lucifer stopped himself before an insult slipped out. “I said I _saw_ him. Not that I _met_ him.”

_The agency had plenty of pictures of Odin Allfather from his public appearances. The man had never been convicted, or even charged, with anything suspicious, so he had no need to hide. Upon arriving in the gilt ballroom, Lucifer spotted him within ten minutes. He wasn’t very impressive, if he was being honest. He was old, maybe in his seventies, with snow-white hair and beard. His clothes to anyone else would not have stood out as anything out of the ordinary, even for such a formal event as this, but Lucifer’s eye knew expensive when he saw it. The most noticeable feature was in the man’s face--specifically in what it lacked. A gold plate covered Odin’s right eye, glinting as he turned and nodded his head._

_There was no way Lucifer was getting through the clot of people surrounding the chief, even with his considerable charisma, so he needed a back door. Find someone fairly close to the man, or even close to one of his top confidants, and go from there._

Pierce interrupted again. “That’s what Loki was supposed to be? Your ‘back door?’”

Lucifer hesitated, waiting for his boiling emotions to subside to the point where he trusted himself not to punch Pierce. “I was just getting to that, if you’d shut up and let me speak,” Lucifer said sharply. After another calming pause, he said, “Loki was never ‘supposed’ to be anything.” _He just ended up being… everything._

_Undercover and on a mission as Lucifer was, a party was still a party, and Lucifer loved parties. The large ballroom had been cleared of furniture to give people space to mingle, save for the chairs and high drink tables lining the walls and the three large tables that would be moved out for dinner later that evening. Lucifer had the whole space to roam, winning over people as he went, as usual. His uncanny charm was the agency’s best asset to date. As he said himself, people just liked to tell him things._

_Most of the guest were well over forty, with the oldest sitting at tables in their wheelchairs with their oxygen canisters. He wasn’t the youngest person there, although he was young in comparison. As he’d hoped of a party thrown by suspected gangsters, there was no shortage of young women in short dresses, high heels, and plunging necklines, and the waitstaff wasn’t half-bad either, Lucifer noted. Suffice to say, he had no fear of going without company that evening._

_Then, as Lucifer had just completed his first slow circuit of the room and had returned to the tables at the edge, his ear caught something at once out of place and familiar: an accent from the homeland. After listening for a moment, he remembered that Odin originally hailed from the UK. It made perfect sense that he would still have connections back home. But this voice… this voice he had to meet. Following his ear, his eye landed on a trio of people clustered around one of the drink tables around the edge of the room. Two women were listening, captivated, to a tall man with black hair, who was the owner of the particularly entrancing voice._

“In hindsight,” Lucifer added feeling a painful twinge in his chest, “I would have been better off just walking away. Should have known better than to talk to someone like me.”

“Most people would say that after meeting you,” Pierce said, unhelpfully. “Please, continue. What did you learn from him initially?”

Lucifer didn’t respond. His eyes had fixed once again on the table top as his mind succumbed to memory. He should have just walked away. It would have saved them both so much pain later on. And yet, how could he? How could he have stayed away? One look at those blue eyes and easy smile had been all the convincing Lucifer had needed to start talking. And then, the way he’d stood, with his shoulders back, yet still at ease… Damn that tailcoat for doing exactly what it was designed to do.

“Agent Morningstar!” Pierce finally found a volume that cut through Lucifer’s self-inflicted torture.

After blinking back the tears that had gathered, Lucifer looked up. “What?”

“Try to stay focused.”

“Right, just sever the emotions from these lovely memories I’m being forced to recall a week after everything went to hell,” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcastic disdain. “That sounds like so much fun.”

Pierce regarded him stonily. “The faster we get through this, the faster you can get out of here. What did you learn about Loki?”

Lucifer sighed, wishing he were anywhere but here, doing anything but this. In fact, he knew exactly where he’d like to be, and with whom, but that was hardly an option anymore.

_“Does the old man often throw parties like these?”_

_Lucifer and Loki now had the table to themselves. After introductions and a venture for alcohol, the two women had excused themselves politely. Probably Lucifer’s fault. But he could hardly be blamed for staring--there was a lot to stare at._

_Loki raised an eyebrow. “Probably shouldn’t call him that.”_

_“Ah. Right.” After a brief pause where Loki raised his glass to his lips, Lucifer asked, “Does that young lady missing an eye often throw parties like these?”_

_Loki dipped his chin in efforts to stop drinking mid-drink. He carefully set his glass down while Lucifer looked on innocently. “I see the point,” he said after swallowing what had escaped his efforts. “In answer, these kinds of events are on the rarer side. Usually only three or four a year.”_

_“Been to a lot of them, have you?”_

_“Enough.”_

_“But you’re young,” Lucifer began, “if you don’t mind my stating the obvious. Not exactly the type to be buddy-buddy with the man, unless your life has contained several miracles. So how did you get here?”_

_Loki looked at him searchingly. It was a bold question for this crowd, but Lucifer needed to establish some boundaries. After some time, which Lucifer used to once again survey the man’s remarkable jawline, he said, “Family ties.”_

_Despite his tone that implied an end to the subject, Lucifer pressed on. “To whom? To Odin?” He glanced around, finding Odin towards the center of the ballroom. “Didn’t think the man had any family.”_

_“Then I’ll leave you to wonder.”_

_“Not literally, I hope. That would put a damper on the whole evening.”_

_With another small smirk, Loki said, “You have an awful lot of charm for someone our age. Where do you find the confidence?”_

_Lucifer smiled. “Why, an infallible success rate, if you must know.”_

_“Wouldn’t that be fun to ruin…”_

_ “Not as much fun as adding to it would be." _

_ “You’re probably right,” Loki murmured, and Lucifer watched his gaze plummet and slowly climb back up. _

“Skip the flirting, Morningstar,” Pierce cut in, sounding bored.

Lucifer didn’t look up from where his eyes had focused on the table. “You’re just jealous,” he replied softly, still drunk on memory.

Pierce scoffed. “Yeah. I’m so mad I’m not you, sitting in an interrogation room with a black eye and a broken heart. Look in the mirror, Luci. You’re pathetic.” The insult should have hurt more than it did, but with all the other wounds he’d taken recently, Lucifer barely registered it. He had become numb to little things like that. When he didn’t respond after a moment or two, Pierce sighed quietly. “Continue, please. What did you learn?”

“He…” Lucifer cleared his throat. “I asked if he knew people there. I was new, I needed connections, something like that.”

“Who did you find?”

“Not many surprises. Your typical business owners, lawyers, politicians, real estate… people. One woman owned a pawn shop. Specialized in antiques and artifacts. Odin has a certain taste, I guess.”

“Can you give me names?” Pierce asked.

“Not right now,” Lucifer said quietly. His mind was in no condition to recall details like that. But before Pierce could interrupt him, he added, “I made a list the next morning. It’s in my flat.”

“Not very helpful there, is it?” Lucifer glared at him. “Why in the morning?”

“I was a mite busy that night.”

Pierce raised an eyebrow.

“Please tell me I don’t have to explain that to you.”

“Good to know you have no issues balancing work and play,” Pierce said, making a note in his folder. “Oh wait.” He looked up. “That’s half the reason you’re here in the first place, isn’t it?”

After a long pause in which Lucifer decided he was already in a lot of trouble, so insulting Pierce wouldn’t make it much worse and would make him feel just a little bit better, he said, “I really hate you, you know that?”

Pierce registered the remark with a blink, then turned to the folder on his desk. “I had to remind myself of the purpose of your mission because all of your… extracurricular activities had me confused. It looks like you were _supposed_ to be deciphering Odin’s chain of command.” He looked back to Lucifer. “How exactly does sleeping with someone help with that? Granted, we now know he’s Odin’s accountant and adopted son, but as far as you’ve told us, that was completely unknown to you at the time.” He waited for Lucifer to react, but nothing happened.

Lucifer was once again lost in his own mind.

_ It was close to ten-thirty in the evening. The gala had been going strong for over three hours now, and most of that time had been spent at Loki’s side, except for dinner, where guests were seated, Lucifer could assume, in order of importance or influence. He made careful note of the people Loki had pointed out, marking their placement out on his wrist in pen. Loki was seated among them, only adding to Lucifer’s curiosity. But aside from that, Loki never strayed. _

_ Lucifer found him endlessly intriguing, and he especially enjoyed figuring out what made him laugh--well… Loki never quite laughed, but his eyes would light up and his smile lost some of the stiff formality of the surrounding room. He really was just fascinating. As Lucifer had pointed out earlier, he was young, but incredibly intelligent nonetheless. Some of the things he knew, Lucifer could only guess how he’d learned them, as he claimed to never have attended any formal education past eighth grade--Lucifer was still deciding if he believed that or not. Yet, oddly, whenever Lucifer asked for an opinion, or even a simple like or dislike, Loki hesitated to answer, as if he was running through a military-level risk calculation for preferring one cocktail over another. There was something he didn’t want known. Even Lucifer’s uncanny people skills had failed to help any answers out of him, which made him all the more determined to figure them out. _

_ A few moments ago, a speaker had announced that guests should take their places for the live auction that would begin soon. _

_ “I didn’t know there’d be an auction,” Lucifer said to no one in particular, sounding a little affronted that he hadn’t been informed. _

_ “Don’t take it personally,” Loki replied. “This is your first time at one of these events. Your invitation wouldn’t have mentioned it.” _

_ Lucifer nodded, then glanced at him. Something in his tone drew attention. “Are you alright?” _

_ Loki sighed quietly and put his hands in his pockets. “The more of these you go to, the faster they get boring, and the faster I get tired.” _

_ “Ah. Places you’d rather be?” _

_ “No, actually. That almost makes it worse.” He turned to Lucifer. “If you had to choose between work you didn’t want to do and somewhere you didn’t want to go, which would it be?” _

_ “Definitely not the work.” _

_ “Exactly.” A stretch of silence passed as they watched the auction assemble. “Do you want to stay for this?” Loki asked, still watching the crowd at the center of the room. _

_ Lucifer knew he probably should stay. He should stay and take notes on what was sold, who bought it, for how much… But that was work he didn’t really want to do. Loki sounded like he wanted to find somewhere else to be, and Lucifer would much rather be there than here. “Not really, why?” _

_ “Care to go upstairs?” _

_ “Love to.” The only thing upstairs was the rest of the hotel. He hoped this was going where he thought it was. _

_ “Good. Follow me.” Loki let the way towards a set of double doors at the other end of the ballroom from where the guests had entered at the beginning of the evening. They were open, leading to a hallway containing two elevators. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Loki untied his bowtie and undid the top button on his shirt.  _ _ When he noticed Lucifer staring, he said, “I don’t intend on returning. Neither should you.” _

_ Lucifer smiled. “In that case, we could have made a lot better use of the elevator ride.” _

Truthfully, Lucifer didn’t remember many details between the elevator and the room. His mind had discarded them in return for memories so engrained they might have been carved into his unconscious. He remembered how casually Loki had pulled him into that first kiss, and that it became the last of anything casual they did for a while afterwards. He remembered the thrill that had shot up his spine when Loki’s hands found bare skin under his shirt and the aching need that followed soon after. He remembered laughing at Loki’s frustrated cursing at cumberbunds, and being promptly silenced once Loki had stopped swearing and started kissing again.

_I miss that_ , he thought miserably, bringing his mind out of the fog of remembrance just enough to register Pierce’s voice demanding something. Probably demanding that he stop staring off into space like this. Too bad for him, because space was nice. Space made sense. Reality was, in a word, fucked, and Lucifer would much rather stare off into space, lost in memories, than face it.

He remembered Loki doing that a lot too—staring off into space. Lucifer never minded. Loki would come back to himself on his own usually, or when Lucifer nudged him. He had never quite understood the appeal of the inside of your own head until now. If he’d known, he might have figured out how much Loki hated his life. Then again, they had both been absolutely clueless to the other’s life outside of the time spent with one another. Simple omission proved their downfall.

Lucifer was finally dragged back to the world by someone shaking his arm gently. He blinked, looking down at the hand. He knew whose it was, but something caught his eye. Last he’d checked, Chloe wasn’t a big jewelry person. He picked up her hand. “When did this happen?” he asked, referring to the ring that had, according to his memory, suddenly appeared on her left hand.

Chloe was the partner the agency had assigned for him. They were the youngest team by several years, but were gaining a reputation for success. Obviously, she was one of very few people capable of dealing with him without wanting to shoot him every few seconds, which was an invaluable trait to have. Over the years, they had become close friends. She looked from him to her ring and back several times, thinking of the best way to say what she wanted to say. “Um… it was a few days ago, actually,” she finally said. “Any other time, I would have told you, I just… didn’t think it was a good time.”

Lucifer nodded, looking back down at the ring. “So Daniel’s lucky, but not very smart, then. Congratulations.” He released her hand, and she folded her arms. It was only then that he realized Pierce wasn’t in the room. “Where’d he go?”

“You weren’t speaking. He couldn’t get you back.”

“So they sent in the cavalry,” he said, throwing a half-hearted smile in her direction.

“Yeah. I told him you needed a break. He said ten minutes.”

“How very generous.”

She didn’t reply. Even though he had turned to watch Pierce’s empty chair, he could feel her looking at him. After a moment or two, she said, “How’s it going?”

“Do you think this counts as psychological torture?”

“Personally? Yeah. It’s horrible.”

Lucifer got up from his chair, feeling a need to stretch his legs. He was tempted to look at Pierce’s notes left open on the table, but the urge wasn’t strong enough. Instead, he walked over and leaned against the wall opposite the door. “Do you know how he’s doing?” he asked quietly.

Chloe nodded, taking a few steps towards him. “Yeah, the hospital called just before Pierce started. No worse than yesterday. Not much better. He’s still not speaking to anyone.”

Lucifer sighed, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I wish I could see him.” Miraculously, his voice didn’t waiver, despite the sorrow wrapping itself tighter and tighter around his chest.

“I wish you could too.”

His superiors had forbidden it. They had forbidden him to go within one hundred feet of Loki. They weren’t allowed to communicate with each other in any way, not that they had many ways to do that in the first place. Chloe was toeing the line just by telling him what the hospital had told her, but she insisted on doing it. Her way of helping the situation, he supposed. He appreciated it.

“What’s Pierce asking about?” she asked.

“You aren’t listening on the other side of the window?”

Chloe shook her head. “I’m not allowed. Everyone’s paranoid now.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and frowned. That was new. But he didn’t press the matter. He turned to look at the table. “We uh… just got passed the gala.” He gave her a weak smile. “Remember that? All those six months ago.”

Chloe smirked and nodded. “I remember you didn’t check in with me the next morning until ten, even though you told me you’d call at eight-thirty.”

“Right…”

“Distracted or just tired?”   


“Oh, you know me too well,” Lucifer said with a smile that approached genuine. “How much longer until the Inquisition returns?”

Chloe glanced at her watch. “Probably another three minutes. What do you think he’ll ask next?”

Lucifer pursed his lips. “That’s a kind way of asking what torture device he’ll use next. Which lever he’ll pull.”

“Yeah…” She rubbed her neck with one hand. “I guess I should be proud of you for not wringing Pierce’s neck.”

“I certainly am.” In a dark mutter, he added, “The bastard deserves it.”

Chloe winced at his pain. “Just answer his questions, and it’ll be done with.” Lucifer once again almost rolled his eyes, but remembered his injury just in time. She sighed. “The ‘Inquisitor’ will be back any second. Can I give you a hug?”

Lucifer nodded without question, pushing off the wall to meet her. She was just tall enough for him to rest his cheek on her head. “Thanks.”

The sound of the door opening cut the moment short. Pierce didn’t say anything, just went back to his chair and sat down. Chloe stepped back and gave what was supposed to be an encouraging smile before she turned to go. Once she was gone, Pierce spoke up.

“We’ll continue, then, Agent Morningstar?” he said, gesturing to the chair opposite him.

After sitting down, Lucifer said, “How many torture victims do you think willingly return to the rack after initial results? Not many, I’d think. Does that make me insane, or you bad at your job?”

“This isn’t torture, Morningstar,” Pierce replied, his finger hovering over the recorder, waiting to turn it on.

“Says Torquemada,” Lucifer said.

After a few more seconds, Pierce finally started the recording, eyeing Lucifer as he did so. “After the gala, when did you see Loki next?”

“Two weeks later. Give or take a day or two.”

Pierce paused, and when Lucifer didn’t continue, he said, “Care to elaborate on that? Maybe a how and where?”

“It was at a bar.”

“Which bar?”

“Milo’s, a few blocks over.”

“And what? You two just happened to walk into the same bar?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”   



	2. Chapter 2

_ Milo’s bar was a personal favorite of Lucifer’s. The Milo in charge knew him well and usually gave him discounts after a few incidents Lucifer’s people skills had resolved before a fight broke out. It was a Thursday, not his usual visiting day, but he was here now. _

_ “Hey, Luci,” Milo said as he approached. He was getting on in years, and more and more often his two sons would help him run the place. _

_ “Hello, Milo,” Lucifer smiled. Without another word, Milo pulled out a glass and a bottle and started pouring. Lucifer really did come here a lot. “Things look busy on a Thursday.” _

_ “Yeah, not bad,” Milo said, sliding the glass over to him. “Do I have to keep track of how many refills I give you? Work night tonight.” _

_ “How very considerate.” After one too many hungover mornings, Lucifer’s superiors had finally cracked down on his nighttime activities. He moved away from the bar as he took a sip, looking around the room as he did so. It was a pretty typical crowd, although he saw fewer familiar faces than when he came on Fridays and Saturdays. _

_ “Hey!” Someone shouted above the din of talking and music. Recognizing the voice, he turned to see a brunette sauntering over, pushing people out of her way none too gently. _

_ “Maze, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Lucifer replied. Mazikeen was an old friend. She had failed her entry into the agency, but she had soon discovered her talents were better used elsewhere. “How’s bounty hunting?” _

_ “Great, humans are as dumb as ever,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. _

_ “Except you.” _

_ Her mouth turned up at one corner. “‘Cept me. What are you up to? Suits get you a case?” _

_ “Wouldn’t tell you if they had.” _

_ “So that’s a yes. Need anyone found?” _

_ “Not particularly, no. But of course, I’ll let you know. Having fun?” _

_ Maze nodded, scanning the room. “Yeah, it’s alright. Got my eye on a few. Is this one of those cases you get a fake name for?” _

_ Lucifer smiled. “Why? Want me to bore you with stories I’ve made up?” _

_ “So what is your name?” she said, a curious glint in her eyes. “So I can tell some of these hopeless ladies who to ask for.” _

_ Lucifer glanced around and noticed the attention. It was nothing new, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. “It’s Lucas.” _

_ Maze grinned and turned her head slightly towards a group of women by the bar. “Lucas, huh?” she repeated, raising her voice so they could hear it. “Nice.” _

_ “I don’t need your help in that department, Maze,” Lucifer reminded her. _

_ “Yeah, but I wanna see which ones go for you so I can take the others.” She held her grin for another second or two before something occurred to her. “Or, if you want a challenge, there’s always Tall-Dark-and-Brooding by the window over there,” she said, turning to the corner of the room over her shoulder. _

_ Lucifer followed her gaze. “Well, I’ll be damned.” _

_ “What? You know the guy?” _

_ “Let’s say I’ve already put a bit more than my finger in that pie.” _

_ Maze frowned. “Dammit. That was gonna be fun.” _

_ “Probably still will be,” Lucifer replied, and started walking. He turned around briefly to gesture with his glass to the women by the bar. “They’re all yours, Maze.” _

_ Loki, because it was Loki Maze had pointed out, was standing by the window, staring out at the dark streets. A glass and a bottle rested on the window sill in front of him. Only when he got closer could Lucifer see that the bottle was half-empty. Despite the long, black greatcoat he wore, he still looked cold. Probably the main adversary to the alcohol, if Lucifer had to guess. _

_ When he was within earshot, Lucifer said, “You are one person I didn’t expect to see here.” _

_ Loki’s head turned sharply, his posture tensing before he recognized who was speaking. With a faint smirk, he replied, “Somehow you’re exactly who I should have expected to see, yet didn’t.” _

_ “May I join you?” Loki seemed surprised by the question, the emotion just barely visible to Lucifer’s trained eye. But he nodded, and Lucifer walked over and set his glass down on the opposite side of the bottle from Loki’s. “Do you…” Lucifer eyed the bottle. “Do you really intend to finish that on your own?” he asked, pointing to it. _

_ Loki looked at it as well, his brow creasing. “Hadn’t really decided,” he said. _

_ Lucifer nodded. “Ah. Well, I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you’ve done it at least three times before.” _

_ That made Loki almost laugh. Again, the sound wasn’t there, but his face softened from cold formality. “I suppose you speak from experience?” _

_ “Yeah. Next morning was not a pretty picture. Thought my boss was going to throw me out his seven story window that day.” _

_ “You went to work hungover?” _

_ “Hungover?” Lucifer scoffed. “Of course not. I was still drunk.” _

_ Loki smiled a little wider. “And you still have this job?” _

_ “Oh, that was a couple years ago. I’ve moved on.” _

_ “Right. What’s your job now?” _

_ Lucifer hesitated and reached for his glass out of instinct. As part of this case, he’d recently gotten himself hired by one of the businesses represented at the gala--some sales company specializing in insurance software. Lucifer hated the job, but it was necessary, and any job where he worked with people face-to-face was something he could do well. “Sales,” he replied before his mind could think of anything else. “Got hired by one of the chaps from that gala, in fact.” _

_ Loki nodded. “That explains the jacket and tie, then.” _

_ Lucifer glanced down at himself. His employer did run a strict dress code in his company. Lucifer detested ties. “Yes, unfortunately,” he sighed, setting his glass back down. _

_ “Not a fan?” _

_ “Not of wearing ties on the daily, no,” Lucifer said. “You seem to have no problem with them, though.” He inclined his head to indicate Loki’s own outfit: it was all black, except for a green tie, and looked very, very good. _

_ “I think they have their uses, one of them being the ability to make you look good.” _

_ “Which yours is accomplishing masterfully. Not that you needed much help in the first place.” _

_ Loki smiled. “Thanks.” He paused to take a drink and set his glass down. “You know,” he went on, his eyes going back to Lucifer’s tie, “there’s something I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve never actually had the opportunity.” _

_ “Oh?” Lucifer replied. This sounded like fun. _

_ “Yeah.” He drew himself up to his full height—he could easily look Lucifer in the eye, something not many could do—and paused just long enough for Lucifer to register the gleam of amusement in his gaze. Then he took hold of Lucifer’s tie and pulled him into a kiss, not bothering to be too gentle. _ _   
_   
  


“You can skip what’s not important to the case,” Pierce cut in, still making notes.

Lucifer regarded him with a mixture of fatigue and detestation. “Insufferable,” he muttered, knowing Pierce would hear it.

Pierce sighed. “Please, just continue with the report.”

But Lucifer wasn’t done with him. “When was the last time you got laid? Maybe that’s the problem. Then again, maybe you’re just an asshole and nothing can change that.”

“Agent Morningstar.” He set down his pen and glared at Lucifer. “It is inescapably clear that neither of us wants to be here, so just answer the questions and don’t waste my time.”

After a moment of processing, Lucifer said, “I asked him about his job, he said he was an accountant--true, as you’ve said. The man’s got a brain like a calculator, it’s incredible.”

“Did you learn anything else?”

“Other than he hated his job--anyone would, working for a tyrannical bastard like Odin--no, nothing else that you care about.”

Pierce nodded, then fell silent as he looked through the folder for his next point of questioning. Lucifer’s mind drifted back to that night at Milo’s.

_ “Was that worth the anticipation?” Lucifer asked in a low voice, very aware of just how close they were still. _

_ In reply, Loki brought up his right hand--which held Lucifer’s tie. He watched with great satisfaction as Lucifer’s hand flew to his collar to find nothing there. “Yes, it was,” he said, offering the tie back. Once Lucifer took it, he stepped away and picked up his glass from the window sill. _

_ A slow smile spread across Lucifer’s face. This man was fascinating. He tucked the tie into an inside pocket of his jacket and undid the top two buttons of his shirt the way he preferred to wear it. Then he said, “So is there anything you aren’t good at? Between sleight of hand and your very talented mouth, you seem to have the essentiels covered.” _

_ Loki smiled, but in the half-second that took, Lucifer caught a glimpse of something else behind the expression. Some uncertainty, some… disbelief, maybe even some form of fear, but it only lasted the blink of an eye. “Well, there are some pretty good reasons I’m not in public relations,” he said. Lucifer nodded, still processing what he had just seen. “And I suspect there are very few people better than you at flirting.” _

_ “True,” Lucifer smiled. “I try not to hold that against them.” _

_ “Speaking of,” Loki said, “do you normally do this?” _

_ “You’ll have to be a mite more specific.” _

_ “Do you normally start conversations with people you’ve… experienced, two weeks after the fact?” _

_ “No, not really.” _

_ “So why me?” _

_ Lucifer hesitated, thinking. It was a good question. Why had he walked over here? There had been, and probably still were, at least four women who would give him whatever attention he wanted with barely a nudge in that direction. At least Maze was here, so hopefully none of them were too disappointed. But instead, Lucifer had sought out the one person here he had never expected to see again… but had wanted to see again, now that he thought about it. “I um…” he said, struggling to find the words he wanted, “I… think you’re fascinating.” Might as well be honest. _

_ Loki stared at him for a long moment. “Fascinating,” he repeated. Lucifer shrugged helplessly. After another moment of contemplation, he said, “I don’t think anyone’s ever called me fascinating.” _

_ “Clearly, you’ve been hanging around the wrong people.” _

_ “Apparently,” Loki said, sounding indeed like this was the first time he’d ever heard such things. Lucifer couldn’t tell if that was good or bad, if he’d messed up or not. Loki turned to stare out the window, but Lucifer could tell he didn’t see any of the outside. He was thinking, lost in his own mind, his brow lined with concentration. Lucifer didn’t know what to say, or if he should say anything, so he kept quiet. Eventually, without turning from the window, Loki asked, “Can I ask you something?” _

_ Lucifer saw no reason not to agree. “Of course.” _

_ Loki looked at him. “And you won’t poke fun if it sounds like something out of a sixteen-year-old?” _

_ “Absolutely not.” _

_ “What would you do if I asked you to kiss me like I am fascinating?” _

_ “I suppose I’d have to comply.” _

_ A small smile appeared on Loki’s face as he moved to stand right in front of Lucifer. “Well, I’m asking.” _

_ Lucifer leaned in to press their mouths together, raising one hand to run his thumb along Loki’s beautifully high cheekbones. It was simple and sweet, and Lucifer pulled back just far enough and just long enough to murmur, “I’m complying,” before going back for seconds. He felt Loki grab his jacket and pull him closer, so Lucifer let his arm fall around his waist to do the same. _

That evening was one of Lucifer’s favorite memories from the past six months. It was a little different remembering it now compared to a few weeks ago—now, it just made his heart ache and brought a sad, small smile to his lips—but he still loved it. It used to make him laugh to remember that seconds later, it finally occurred to Loki that they were embracing right in front of a street level window. Lucifer couldn’t have cared less, but he had to stop himself from laughing as he watched Loki’s ears turn pink. Now, the memory was more likely to bring tears than laughter.

Pierce had found his next questions. “So this job you had,” he started, “with Eden Insurance Agency. How did that help your case?”

Finally, questions that weren’t about Loki. Lucifer took a breath, clearing his mind to find what he could remember. “Yes, sales. Odin dropped by at least once a month for a meeting with the boss—”

“With… Mr. Tiernan?”

“Yes, him. Him and his son. Right pair of greedy wankers, if you ask me. Which you did.”

“What do they do for Odin?”

“Mostly covering up money transactions. One gigantic mob front, really.”

Pierce nodded. The agency had suspected as much for years now. “Did Odin bring anyone with him on these visits? Consistently?”

“Thor.”

“Odinson?”

“No, the other one.”

“What did you see Thor do? Why was he there?” Pierce ignored Lucifer’s snarky reply.

“Intimidation. Bodyguard.”

“Nothing else?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I was a ground-level employee to begin with. I didn’t get very far up the ladder in six months.”

Pierce looked at him. “You had access to high-level company documents and files in the fourth month.”

“... True.” Lucifer had forgotten about that. “Okay, so I had proven myself useful, but I was never allowed into the meetings with Odin.”

“How did you keep all of this from Loki? He was their accountant, he would have noticed if things were altered.”

“We didn’t talk about work.” Lucifer had to actively work to keep his memories from smothering his thoughts.

“Really?”

“Yes,” he replied, biting off the end of the word. “Whatever had happened that day, we left it outside the door.”

Pierce checked the folder. “And, just to clarify for the record, this was the door to your apartment, yes? Your actual… personal apartment?” Lucifer only stared at him coldly. “You do know the agency has the funds to set up a separate living space for our undercover agents? Why didn’t you take advantage of that? If Loki had decided to check who owned that apartment…”

“Well, it’s a good thing he didn’t check, then, isn’t it?” Lucifer said before he could finish. “Maybe that’s because work wasn’t allowed in that place. Because it was safe there.”

“It was never safe with him there.”

“Go to hell.”

Pierce regarded him steadily. “The integrity of this case was compromised the moment you two met. There will be consequences.”

Lucifer leaned forward in his chair. “Let me state, to clarify for the record, there is nothing you and your bureaucrats can do to make me hurt more than I do now.” He fell back, maintaining eye contact with Pierce throughout.

Pierce nodded, not paying much attention to him. He wrote for a bit in his notes, then clicked his pen closed and shut the folder. “That’s all we need for today.” He leaned over to replace the folder in his briefcase. “I suggest you go home. You’re not much use to anyone in this state.”

Lucifer glared at him, remaining seated as he left the room. After a few moments, he finally moved, hauling himself to his feet and pulling his jacket smooth. When he left the room, Chloe was passing by, and she rushed over to him.

“Hey, what’s up? Are you done?”

“For today,” Lucifer replied.

Chloe frowned. “Really? What else could they need?”

“I have no idea.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m going home.”

“You sure? You can always go to my place, I can give you a key.”

Over the past week, Lucifer had been spending more time at Chloe’s than at his own home. His own apartment, as Pierce had stumbled upon, still had too many memories attached to it. He and Loki had spent so much time together there.

But Lucifer shook his head. “No, it’s fine, I… want to go home.”

Chloe nodded. “Okay. Just… don’t do anything stupid. Remember to eat something.”

“I know, I know.”

“You can call me anytime, I don’t care how late it is, if you need anything. Even if you just need to talk—”

“I know.” Her fussing had managed to bring a small smile to his face. “I know.”

“Okay.” She insisted on giving him a hug, not that he objected much anyway. “Take care of yourself.”

“Will do, Detective,” he replied. She wasn’t really a detective, but he had jokingly given her the nickname their first week of working together because of her insistence to hunt down every single fact in whatever case they were covering. “You’ll tell me when you’ve set the wedding date, yes?”

Chloe smiled and shook her head. “Yes, of course. But I really don’t think you should be worrying about me.”

Lucifer shrugged as he started walking towards the lobby of the building. “It helps to have a distraction.”

Chloe nodded, a shadow passing over her face. He tried to stay as positive as he could around her to keep her from worrying too much, but he knew she would worry no matter what, and it was nice not having to pretend around someone. “See you later.”

  
  


Lucifer grew more and more uncomfortable the higher the elevator rose. The feeling worsened as he approached his door and unlocked it. He took a breath, his hand resting on the door handle. The pain had lessened over the week, but it still hurt just seeing the door. Eventually, he was calm enough to push the door open and walk inside. Normally, he had a bag or a case or something carrying whatever work he needed to do for the next day, but not today. He had no coat to hang up: it was still brisk outside, being only April, but not cold enough for a coat, so he passed the closet in the hall on the way to the main room of the apartment.

He was hungry. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast at Chloe’s this morning, and Pierce’s interrogation had worn him down. But he hesitated in the doorway, eyeing his kitchen like it was a jungle brimming with animals that might attack him at any moment. He and Loki both enjoyed cooking, albeit for slightly different reasons. For Lucifer, it meant he could make what he couldn’t afford, and make it just the way he wanted. For Loki, it was all about having the choice and control over what he did and when and how. That kitchen was a minefield of memories, and Lucifer had barely set foot in it since he had been allowed to return home.

But he was hungry.

“It’s just lunch,” he told himself quietly, moving towards the kitchen. “You never did lunch, it was always dinner or breakfast. Can’t be that bad.” He stood at the far end of the island at the center, facing his fridge and the sink right next to it. It wasn’t a normal place to stand, not really, so it was safe. “Okay.” Talking aloud helped fill the silence that his thoughts might otherwise invade. “Sandwich. Sandwich is good.” He headed towards the fridge, remembering a list of whatever sandwich fixings it contained, but when he passed the counter to the right of the stove, something caught his eye, making him stop.

It was a yellow sticky note. Lucifer was surprised he hadn’t seen it earlier, considering its pale color made it stick out on the grey countertop. He picked it up to read it.

After doing so, he leaned back against the side of the island, feeling the now-familiar sting of tears and tightness in his throat. He stuck the note to the top of the island, then noticed a separate word written in the bottom corner of the note: _pasta_. Right. The first time Loki had been here, Lucifer had made pasta for dinner.

_ “I hope you don’t mind pasta, because that’s all I had planned,” Lucifer said, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the back of one of the chairs pulled up to the island. _

_ “I don’t mind at all,” Loki replied, standing a little farther away, near the border between the kitchen and the living room. _

_ “Do you cook?” _

_ Loki shrugged. “I like to cook, but I don’t always get the opportunity.” _

_ Lucifer nodded, turning on the tap to fill a pot with water. “I see. Well, if you want to help me, you are more than welcome, but I don’t force any guest of mine to work.” _

_ Of course, Loki was happy to help, and more than capable, Lucifer learned. He seemed more at ease cooking than most other places, and he had to keep reminding Lucifer to focus on the boiling water instead of staring at him all night long. As if Lucifer could be blamed for that. What other choice did he have when presented with watching water boil or admiring the incredibly handsome person standing next to him? It was almost criminal to pay attention to the water. _

This was exactly why he had been avoiding spending time in this place.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucifer shook himself from the memory with difficulty. It was the first of many of its kind, but being first, it stuck around the best. This was exactly why he had been avoiding his apartment for so long. Some subconscious urge made him look beneath the island, where cupboards and drawers held the kitchen utensils and containers, including the pot he used for pasta. There was another note stuck to the door of that particular cupboard. He pulled it off and stuck it next to the first. This one also had a word in the corner:  _ cheesecake. _

Oh, yes, cheesecake. Loki and his cheesecake. Lucifer smiled a little, despite the tarnish of grief. That discovery had happened about two weeks after Loki’s first stay here. They’d known each other for… what was it? Not quite two months.

After their first accidental meeting at Milo’s, they had established a sort of pattern. Not purposefully, they just always seemed to be at Milo’s at the same time. Eventually, Lucifer mentioned that they could just have drinks at his place, because they usually ended up there anyway. Loki had agreed to the idea.

_ Lucifer almost always let Loki choose what they drank. Lucifer knew what was in his fridge--after all, he bought it, and Loki seemed to appreciate having the choice. So Lucifer stood by the cabinet containing glasses and cups, waiting for Loki, who stood at the open fridge. In less time than it should have taken, Loki turned to him, letting the fridge door close. _

_ “Made a ch--” Lucifer started before being cut off. _

_ “You have cheesecake.” _

_ Lucifer blinked. “Um, yes?” It took a second before he remembered the leftovers from taking Chloe to dinner some night after work. “Oh, yes, that. Yes. What about it?” _

_ Loki nodded. “I’m having cheesecake.” _

_ An amused smile had appeared on Lucifer’s face during the exchange, and continued as he moved to retrieve a plate and fork instead of two glasses. “I had no idea you felt so strongly about cheesecake.” _

_ Loki turned back to him, holding the container. “I fucking love cheesecake,” he said, very seriously. _

_ Lucifer nodded, setting down the plate and fork. “I see. Well, unfortunately, that cheesecake does come with a price.” He was hoping to get a kiss out of this, because he thought he probably definitely could. _

_ What he wasn’t expecting was Loki to immediately reply, “I will kiss you senseless and let you fuck me through a wall if I can have this cheesecake.” _

_ Lucifer stared at him, a surprised smile tugging at his mouth. Eventually, he let out a breath of laughter and nodded. “Well, I’ll be needing a down payment on that.” _

_ Loki paused to think just a few seconds. He set down the container, walked over to where Lucifer stood, took his face in both hands, and kissed him soundly on the mouth. As had become his habit, Lucifer’s arms wound around his waist and torso as he returned the gesture. Loki always kissed with his mouth open slightly—a little quirk Lucifer had discovered and now found entirely endearing. _

_ Lucifer didn’t get nearly as much time as he’d wanted before Loki pulled away, their faces still only centimeters apart. “As much fun as this is,” he said, “you’re not getting between me and that slice of chocolate paradise.” _

_ Lucifer couldn’t keep a smile off his face, but he let Loki slip away. “Suit yourself,” he said. “I’m still getting a drink.” Loki sat down at the island, not bothering with the plate, choosing to eat right out of the container instead. Lucifer took down a glass for himself, but he was interrupted by his phone ringing in his jacket pocket. “Oh, what now?” he muttered, pulling it out. Chloe. He sighed. “Sorry, I have to take this.” _

_ Loki nodded, his mouth silenced by cheesecake. _

_ Lucifer walked into his bedroom before answering because it was far enough away that Loki wouldn’t hear anything. “What?” he said. _

_ “Uh...check-in? What we do every Friday night?” she said. _

_ “Oh. Right. My apologies.” _

_ “Am I interrupting something?” _

_ “No, not really. I have a guest over, is all.” _

_ “Another one?” Lucifer remembered that last week Loki had also been over when Chloe had called. _

_ “Oh, no. The same one.” _

_ “... really? The same person?” _

_ “Yes, is that really too hard to believe, Detective?” _

_ “For you, yeah.” _

_ Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. Don’t quit your day job.” _

_ He heard her laugh. “What? It’s not like you to keep up with someone for more than a week if you’re not related to them.” Suddenly, her voice dropped in pitch. “Do you have a crush on them?” she said with a quiet intensity. _

_ “A what?” Lucifer tried to laugh it off, but the heat spreading over his face betrayed him. “That’s ridiculous, we’re not in grade school, Detective.” _

_ “I won’t tell anyone,” Chloe added quickly. “Promise.” _

_ “There’s nothing to tell,” he replied, working to keep his voice down. _

_ “So obviously you think they’re cute. You wouldn’t have spoken to them otherwise,” she went on, ignoring him. _

_ “He’s not—” Lucifer started to protest, but broke off into a sigh. _

_ “He’s not what?” _

_ Lucifer tried to regain some dignity in the conversation. This was a losing battle, he knew. “He’s not  _ cute _. If he’s anything, he’s strikingly handsome.” _

_ Chloe was silent for several moments wherein Lucifer braced himself for ridicule. Eventually, she said, “You so have a crush on him.” _

_ “No, I do not—!” Lucifer hissed, but quickly realized there was no use in excuses. _

_ “Okay, okay!” She was still smiling, he could hear it. “But you still need to check in with me every week, Lucifer, guests or otherwise. Should we just move it to Thursdays?” _

_ “Yes, yes, that works,” Lucifer nodded. “Can I go now?” _

_ Chloe snorted. “Don’t let me keep you from him.” _

_ Lucifer did not dignify that with a response, and hung up. Her intuition was uncanny sometimes, and it unnerved him. Although he wanted to go on with the evening like nothing had happened, he hesitated to return to the kitchen for just a moment. Was she right? _

__

Of course she had been right. Lucifer closed his eyes and leaned his elbows on the countertop, letting his head hang. After the memory had truly receded, he raised his eyes and looked to the refrigerator. There was probably another note inside it, but Lucifer didn’t think he wanted to read it. But of course he did. He pushed himself up from the island and moved to open the fridge. A yellow note was stuck to the top shelf. With a sigh, he pulled it out and stuck it next to the others.  _ Birthday _ was the word written in the corner.

Loki’s birthday had been December seventeenth, a little over two months into whatever they weren’t calling their relationship. Of course, Lucifer hadn’t known when it was—how could he?—and had found out only the day before.

__

_ Loki was later than normal, by about two hours, which would be uncommon for anyone, but for Loki’s love of punctuality, it was almost concerning. Lucifer sat at the island, a glass in one hand, very aware of how much he was thinking about the fact that Loki was late. _

_ When he at last heard the awaited two knocks on his door, he got up instantly. “Finally,” he muttered, draining his glass. _

_ “Sorry, I know,” were the first words out of Loki’s mouth when Lucifer opened the door. _

_ “Don’t worry about it,” Lucifer insisted, stepping out of the way to let him in. “You’re here, that is all I care about.” _

_ “I was working late,” Loki went on, passing his overcoat to Lucifer’s offered hand. “I wanted to get enough done so I wouldn’t worry about it tomorrow.” There was a moment of silence when Lucifer leaned over and kissed him because he just couldn’t resist it. _

_ “Is tomorrow special?” Lucifer asked. _

_ “I guess,” Loki said with a shrug, following him into the kitchen. He sat down, then looked up, noticing Lucifer’s inquisitive expression trained on him. “Well, it’s—it’s my birthday.” _

_ “What?” Lucifer set another glass on the countertop then placed his hands down and stared at Loki. _

_ Loki didn’t seem to understand his reaction. “What?” _

_ “You  _ guess _ your birthday is special?” _

_ Loki shrugged. “Never been anything special before.” _

_ “Well, do you have any plans?” _

_ “Taking the day off. Not working.” _

_ “Nothing else? Going out to dinner? Anything? It’ll be Saturday night, you could whatever you wanted.” _

_ “I know. I just… don’t usually do much.” _

_ Lucifer didn’t reply verbally, but he blinked a few times, then nodded and looked at his watch. “Right.” He turned around and started pulling out baking ingredients from the cabinets and setting them on the counter. _

_ Loki watched him, eyeing the empty glass as well. “What are you doing?” _

_ “Tomorrow,” Lucifer said, taking out a bowl, “is your birthday. So I am going to make a cake for you so you have a birthday cake like everyone else.” _

_ Loki reached over and grabbed the empty glass Lucifer had taken out to go get himself a drink. “You really don’t have to.” _

_ “Of course I don’t,” Lucifer said, rolling up his sleeves and heading towards the sink. He intersected Loki’s path to the fridge and caught him around the waist, unable to keep a small smile off his face. “But I like you, so I’m doing it anyway.” _

_ Loki smiled a little, the quietly amused expression to which Lucifer had grown accustomed. “Can I help?” _

_ “Hm,” Lucifer hummed. “Normally, I discourage any work towards your own birthday, so I may need some convincing.” _

_ Loki rolled his eyes. “What am I going to do with you?” he said quietly, leaning over to put his glass down safely on the counter before planting his lips firmly on Lucifer’s. _

__

They spent the whole next day together, with Lucifer making sure that Loki had a proper birthday—one of the few he’d ever had, from what Lucifer could tell. Loki had never been a fan of going out in public with Lucifer, but that day was an exception. Lucifer now understood his fears, of course. If anyone with connections back to Odin saw them together, it would have ended whatever they had. Loki had hinted on a few occasions his father’s distaste for anything Loki did outside of the “family business,” and that included going out with someone, apparently.

But that day, Loki had allowed himself to actually have fun. Lucifer had never seen him smile so much in a single day as he did then. Where had they gone that day? He sniffed and wiped his eyes, trying to remember past the sadness. It had snowed overnight, he knew that, because they made efforts to stay inside whenever possible. The museum—he remembered the natural history museum. Well, more specifically, he remembered watching Loki’s face brighten when he found a particularly intriguing exhibit or hall. Lucifer couldn’t keep his eyes off him, almost leading to several collisions with other museum patrons. Lunch was at a cafe down the street, nothing special, aside from the treat of watching the stress of life fade from Loki’s face minute by minute.

__

_ “Where to next?” Lucifer said as they stepped onto the pavement in front of the cafe. _

_ Loki paused for a moment to put on his gloves. It was December, after all. “There’s a… music shop on fifth,” he said, pointing down the street. “Haven’t been in years.” _

_ Lucifer vaguely knew of a music shop in that vicinity. “Lead on,” he smiled, gesturing with a hand. Loki smiled back and started walking. _

_ “I didn’t know you liked music,” Lucifer remarked. _

_ Loki nodded with a noise of affirmation, but he kept glancing down at Lucifer’s hand swinging at his side. Finally, he looked up and said, “You aren’t wearing gloves.” _

_ “Don’t particularly need them.” _

_ “Really? It’s almost freezing out.” _

_ “Are you concerned for my health all of a sudden?” Lucifer shot a smile at him. “No need to worry.” _

_ “Still,” Loki replied, reaching out and taking Lucifer’s hand, “better safe than sorry.” _

_ Lucifer slowed a step, glancing first at their hands, then back at Loki when he was tugged along. “You never cease to surprise me.” _

_ When they arrived, Loki made a beeline for the boxes of vinyls on display and started flipping through them, clearly on a mission. _

_ “Didn’t think of you as a vinyl person,” Lucifer remarked. _

_ Loki scoffed—the closest thing to a laugh Lucifer had ever heard from him. “That’s because you haven’t seen my room.” _

_ “That’s a simple thing to change.” _

_ Loki shook his head, still looking through the sleeves of vinyls. “My father would literally shoot you on sight. Or at least get someone to shoot you on sight.” _

_ Lucifer nodded slowly. Loki mentioned his father only briefly, but when he did, it was usually in situations like that. From what Lucifer could tell, the man was insane. “I see.” _

_ Loki pulled out one of the sleeves from the box, holding it up in front of him. “There you are,” he said. He turned to Lucifer. “Do you have any idea how long I have been looking for ‘Sound of Silence’ on vinyl? It’s always sold out by the time I get here.” _

_ “I can play that on the piano.” _

_ “I didn’t know you played at all.” _

_ Lucifer shrugged with a small smile. “I am a man of many talents.” _

_ Loki smiled too, and it was beautiful. “So I’m learning.” After a pause, he looked at the vinyl cover again. “Shame I won’t be able to listen to this until I get home.” _

_ “Oh, I have a player back at my place,” Lucifer said. “I keep it out of the way when I’m not using it.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Yes, really.” _

_ Loki looked back at the sleeve in his hands, still addressing Lucifer. “You’re amazing.” _

__

Lucifer once again wiped fresh tears from his eyes. He knew where the next note was. He rounded the island and entered the living room. It wasn’t much of a room, but it was enough space to hold a dark blue couch, a coffee table, a very full bookshelf, a beanbag chair that matched the couch, the television mounted opposite the couch, and his record player. Once Loki had started visiting more regularly, the player had stopped going back into the closet Lucifer used to keep it out of the way. It stood to the right of the couch, between the corner and the bookshelf. Lucifer opened it, and there was the note.

This note, he immediately noticed, had no clue word. He tilted his head in confusion. Why not this time? Why no words except the one continuing the main message? Lucifer turned, intending to sit down on the couch, but he stopped when something caught his eye. That’s why there had been no clue word: the next note was stuck to the inside of the arm of the couch, easily discovered by Lucifer sitting, or moving to sit, anyway. He crossed and plucked it off the fabric, then took them all the way back to the kitchen, sticking them in order with the other three. The most recent note did have a clue:  _ laugh. _

A particularly strong spasm of grief twisted in Lucifer’s chest. Lucifer closed his eyes and took a breath, balling his hands into fists and squeezing until it hurt—anything to distract him from his own mind. Several breaths later, he gave in, and turned to face the doorway behind him, which led to his bedroom.

As Lucifer had quickly discovered upon their first meeting, it took a lot to coax a laugh from Loki. A smile was easy. A genuine smile was a little more of a challenge, but Lucifer had done it. But a laugh? A real, joyful laugh? It was nearly impossible.

Nearly. About a month ago, Lucifer had managed it.

Lucifer stood just inside the doorway of his bedroom. He honestly couldn’t remember what exactly had finally made Loki laugh. Nothing else about that night stood out as special in any way. By then, they knew each other. Lucifer’s lips had covered every inch of Loki’s chest and stomach, and left plenty of red spots over his neck and shoulders, too. He remembered Loki’s fingertips digging into his back so hard he was surprised there weren’t bruises in the morning. He remembered running his fingers through Loki’s hair, silently marveling at how soft it was while Loki was busy kissing him within an inch of his life, it seemed like. He remembered the heat of their bodies against each other, and feeling hot breath on his face, and hearing the small noises escaping Loki’s lips. And he remembered hearing the sound of Loki’s laugh somewhere in all of that, and thinking it was the most beautiful sound in the world. It must have stood out to Loki too, for him to write it down.

Lucifer stayed put for a long while. These memories had a strong hold on him, apparently. When he finally shook himself free, his eyes watered not from tears but from forgetting to blink. He rubbed them, urging his body to once again function in the real world. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and retrieved the yellow note stuck to the headboard. That headboard had suffered a bit of abuse over the past six months. The fleeting thought pulled up at the corners of his mouth just briefly.

He remembered something else. About… two and a half weeks ago, Loki had surprised him by showing up at his door unannounced and unplanned, and he had looked a mess.

His mother had been killed, Lucifer eventually learned. Loki had been relatively close to her, considering the chasm separating him and his father, and her death, so sudden and violent as it had been, had hit him hard.

__

_ Loki stayed quiet that evening. Lucifer didn’t blame him. He didn’t eat much, which wasn’t surprising either. After Lucifer had finished cleaning up after dinner, he and Loki sat on the couch together to watch a movie--or something. Anything to help Loki feel better. Loki didn’t pay much attention to the television, choosing to curl up in Lucifer’s arms and stare off into space instead. _

_ Loki often had trouble sleeping through the night. Lucifer occasionally woke up to him sitting up in bed next to him, wringing his shaking hands. But that night was worse than all the others. Lucifer was wrenched from sleep by Loki suddenly sitting bolt upright, his eyes wide open and his breathing rapid. _

_ “Loki? Loki, are you—” He stopped himself from asking if he was alright, because of course he wasn’t. “What’s wrong?” _

_ Loki shook his head silently. Lucifer sat up and put a hand on his arm. Loki flinched and looked over at Lucifer. He was terrified, but of what, Lucifer couldn’t imagine. After a few seconds, he said, very quietly, “He’s going to kill me.” Before Lucifer had time to react, he repeated, “He’s going to kill me.” _

_ Lucifer finally acted, moving over to him and pulling him close. Loki let him do it, curling up against his chest. “No, he won’t,” he told him, resting his cheek against Loki’s head. “Not with me around, he won’t.” _

_ But Loki was obsessed. “He’ll think it was my fault, he’ll kill me.” _

_ Lucifer was gaining a better idea of what this was about. He held Loki tighter and pressed a kiss to his head. “You’re safe here. I promise, darling.” That seemed to calm Loki more than his previous efforts, so he repeated it, over and over, between kisses and silence. Eventually, Loki’s breathing steadied, and his tense body relaxed, growing heavier in Lucifer’s arms. Lucifer waited a little longer until he was certain Loki was asleep again before gently laying him back in bed and lying down beside him, one arm laid protectively over Loki’s chest. _

__

Lucifer sighed and shook his head. Safe. How could he have said that? Pierce was right: as long as Loki had been here, he had never been safe from anything. Neither of them had been safe, really. They had been lying to themselves and each other for months just to have a little more time, and a little more time, until their time ran out.

And speaking of lies…

Lucifer returned to the kitchen and placed the last note with the other five. Together, they gave the full message, written in Loki’s all-capital handwriting, one word for each note.

_ Why did you lie to me? _

“I didn’t,” Lucifer said, feeling yet another wave of grief about to wash over him. “I swear, I didn’t—” The wave broke, cutting him off as he tried to fight past it.

He really hadn’t lied very much. His name, yes. His job, of course, but not entirely. But not about anything else. He hadn’t lied about his own birthday, or about his favorite foods, or about what he liked to do in his spare time. And he certainly hadn’t lied—ever—about how he felt towards Loki. Not once.

But Loki didn’t know that.

All Loki knew was that all the compliments, all the affirmations, all the good things that had made his life so much better had come from Lucas, and Lucas didn’t exist. He was some person invented by an agency to put Loki and his family behind bars. Whatever trust Loki had developed in Lucas was shattered, probably irreplaceably, and he already had so little trust in the world to begin with. And so soon after his mother’s death, it must hurt even more. And he had hated his job working for Odin—he had hated Odin more than anything in the world. Still, with all these factors, Lucifer could barely believe they would lead Loki to… to… to do  _ that _ . Maybe Lucifer should have tried harder to learn about his life. Maybe that would have just made it worse.

Lucifer leaned down on his forearms, reading the message over and over again, trying to think what he could have done differently, how he could have helped more, and what if this, what if that.

Lunch had been utterly forgotten amid the memories. He was too miserable to eat, and Chloe never called or texted to remind him. He left the notes on the counter and strictly avoided the whole kitchen for the rest of the afternoon. Dinner went the way of lunch. The evening began completely uneventfully, until around six or so.

Lucifer was sitting on this couch, where he’d been for the past four hours, when someone knocked on the door. He didn’t recognize the knock. It was too heavy to be Chloe. It wasn’t Loki. After a moment of deliberation, Lucifer got to his feet and went to the door. He put his eye to the peephole, out of curiosity.

He frowned.  _ That’s odd _ , he thought. He considered going to retrieve the pistol he kept in his hall closet—no, not the safest place, but it was convenient—but decided against it. He opened the door, plastering a smile on his face.

“Mr. Tiernan, now this is a surprise.”

The man who had been his boss for the past five or so months gave a small, forced smile in return. He was the perfect image of an insurance CEO: sort of weasley looking, with unnaturally kempt hair and clean suits. “Mr. Morrigan. Your sudden absence was almost worrying.”

Lucifer felt the hairs on the back of his neck start to prickle, a fairly accurate warning of impending danger. Maybe he should have gotten his gun. He continued his bluff. “Ah, yes. That. Terribly sorry for not informing you. I was in the hospital, in fact.”

Mr. Tiernan’s eyebrows rose a little, and he nodded. “Oh. I see, how unfortunate.”

“I sent in my resignation two days ago,” Lucifer reminded him, which was true. “Why are you…?”

Mr. Tiernan took half a step closer. “Three very trusted clients of mine have recently ended up in an… unfortunate situation themselves. See, they’re in police custody.” In one smooth motion, he pulled a silenced pistol from behind his back and fired it three times in quick succession at Lucifer’s unprotected chest and abdomen.


	4. Chapter 4

Lucifer stumbled back from the force, trying to stem the blood spreading across his white shirt. He was hurt, but he wasn’t an idiot—not really, anyway. Mr. Tiernan followed him inside, the gun still pointed at him, and still with three shots left.

“Unlike you, Morningstar,” he said, his voice still as level and calm as if they were having a casual conversation, “I can be trusted. Odin trusts me. He told me who you were as soon as he found out, because he doesn’t lie at others’ expense. And he trusts me to take care of it.”

Lucifer almost laughed, but it came out as a cough that tasted of blood. He kept backing up, aiming for his hall closet. See? Convenient. “Odin is a manipulative bastard,” he spat. “His wife’s death was the best thing that ever happened to him. He didn’t have to pretend to be a decent human being after that.”

Mr. Tiernan fired a fourth time. The bullet tore into Lucifer’s right shoulder, and he fell back against the door of his closet. Perfect. Well, not quite perfect, considering he was starting to feel dizzy from blood loss, and it was taking considerable energy not to think about all that blood, but still. He stepped to the side, leaning on the wall to stay upright, until he could open the door.

“What are you doing?” Mr. Tiernan demanded, his voice losing its calm.

“Getting a coat,” Lucifer replied, his words a little slurred. Blood was dripping out of his mouth. Getting shot hurt a lot.

Mr. Tiernan hesitated for just a second before raising the pistol to point at Lucifer's forehead. “Don’t.” But Lucifer saw what he needed to see.

“You’ve never actually done this before, have you?” he asked with a bloody smile. “Looked someone in the eye before killing them. Probably never known the person before killing them.” He reached his arm into the closet with a wince, feeling the inside wall for the gun holstered there. “It’s different, is it?”

“Shut up.”

His hand found the gun’s handle. “You were all ready to watch me suffer, watch me bleed. That’s the easy part.” He slid the pistol out of its holder. “But actually ending it? Ooh, now that’s different.” Now it was getting hard to breathe.

“I’ll do it,” Mr. Tiernan said, and eventually, he would. But his momentary moral dilemma had given Lucifer the time he needed.

“I know,” Lucifer said, grasping the handle of his gun, still concealed inside the closet. “But I have better aim.”

He let himself drop to the floor, simultaneously bringing the gun out to point at Mr. Tiernan. Two shots went off, one silenced, one at full volume.

Mr. Tiernan crumpled to the floor opposite Lucifer, a red trail smearing behind his head as he fell. Lucifer’s arm dropped, his pistol slipping from his fingers. Between the pain and blood loss, he was fading fast, but he managed to pull his phone out of his jacket pocket. It slipped from his bloody fingers, falling onto the floor beside him. “Dammit,” he muttered, setting off a coughing fit. With a hiss of pain, he reached out and pulled it closer to him. He didn’t have much more consciousness left. He slowly dialed Chloe’s number and hit speaker, but as he waited, his vision slowly went dark. He was vaguely aware of someone appearing at the door, but he couldn’t tell who it was.

_ No, no, no ,  _ Lucifer thought dimly.  _ There’s so much blood…  _

_ “Humans are natural pursuit predators, they know how to read an opponent. It doesn’t add up.” _

_ “Loki, it’s two in the bloody morning. We watched  _ Terminator _ over six hours ago.” _

_ “But I’m telling you,” Loki insisted, gesturing his point with his hands, “Sarah should have known a little fire couldn’t kill it.” _

_ “It’s a film! It’s fiction! Go to sleep.” _

_ “And even so,” Loki went on, ignoring Lucifer completely, “how many people saw how useless guns were against the terminator? At least fifteen, yet the next twenty people thought, ‘I know! I’ll use a gun!’” _

_ Lucifer finally rolled onto his back, recognizing that Loki wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. He smiled to himself. He couldn’t help it: Loki had that effect. “Fair point,” he said, rubbing face, “but you forget one very important fact: humans are pretty far removed from hunting anymore, and they’re also mostly idiots.” _

_ Loki was quiet for a few moments. “Fine, but you don’t have to be a genius to run away from an unstoppable man in sunglasses.” _

_ “It’s a film, darling.” _

_ “But still—” _

_ “Loki, it’s two AM.” _

_ “I’m not done ranting.” _

_ Lucifer chuckled. “Of course not,” he said. “Alright, fine. Get it out of your system. But I get cuddle privileges.” He moved over and nestled against Loki’s side, wrapping one arm over his middle. Loki put his arm around his shoulders and let him rest his head on his chest. Lucifer admitted to not listening to much of Loki’s rant about inaccuracies in films. He was so comfortable where he was, and had Loki’s complaints not been so animated, Lucifer would have fallen asleep in a heartbeat—and he could hear Loki’s quite clearly. _

_ But he was awake for the end of Loki’s rant. “Is that it?” he mumbled. _

_ “...Yeah. I think.” Lucifer smiled and pushed himself up on his elbow. “Where are you going?” Loki asked, apparently dismayed by the change in position. _

_ “Nowhere, don’t worry,” Lucifer assured him. “Are you going to sleep now?” _

_ Loki rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Yes, I’m going to sleep, you can finally get your beauty rest.” _

_ “Are you saying I have need of such a thing?” _

_ Loki’s smile turned smug. “Well, I certainly don’t need it.” _

_ Lucifer moved his hand to rest on Loki’s cheek. He felt Loki lean into it a little. “No, you do not.” Although the darkness hid details, the smile that appeared on Loki’s face Lucifer knew was always accompanied with a faint blush. Lucifer laughed a little. “You’re absolutely fucking adorable, you know that?” _

_ Loki once again rolled his eyes. “Shut up,” he said, putting a hand on the back of Lucifer’s head and pulled him down to kiss him. It was soft and gentle, not asking anything, just repeating what they had heard from each other for months now. Loki was never as verbally affectionate as Lucifer, so he expressed himself in moments like these. It was a language Lucifer was still learning, but he loved every lesson he got. _

_ “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that,” Lucifer murmured, resting his forehead against Loki’s. _

_ “Good,” Loki replied smugly. “Now go to sleep.” _

_ “Very well,” Lucifer agreed. He kissed Loki’s forehead before lying back down, and Loki wrapped an arm around his shoulders. _

_ When Lucifer was next conscious, he was being hauled upright by gloved hands gripping his arms. Luckily, the adrenaline shot woke him up in seconds to take in his situation. He looked to his right and left at the people currently forcing him to walk. Both were incredibly strong, as evident from their vice-like grip on his arms. One had red hair and a bushy, well-kept beard, and a bit of a gut. The other had jet black hair yanked back in a tight ponytail and a small mustache. _

_ “Who the hell—?” Lucifer began indignantly. _

_ “No talking,” the black-haired man said, smacking Lucifer’s head. _

_ When they arrived in his kitchen, Lucifer understood a little better. Odin Allfather stood by the island, holding Lucifer’s badge—his real badge. Thor stood by him, his arms folded, looking as intimidating as he always did. Another man, blond and mustached, stood by the hall leading out, along with a brunette woman who looked like she knew twelve ways to kill someone without leaving a mark. _

_ But he didn’t see Loki. _

_ “Hello, Agent Morningstar,” Odin said calmly. _

_ “Where is he?” Lucifer demanded. _

_ “Where is who?” _

_ “Don’t play dumb, you know who. The other man who was here.” _

_ “Oh, yes,” Odin nodded, setting the badge on the island. “Loki.” He looked at Lucifer for a long moment. “My son has gone home.” That silenced Lucifer. His son. No wonder he never talked about his family, and when he did it was nothing good. Odin picked up a cane that had been leaning against the island—Lucifer must have been too shocked to notice it before. It was rich dark wood with a gold head in the shape of a raven. Odin didn’t use it to walk over to Lucifer, but he held it like it was a weapon. When he was close, the two men holding Lucifer forced him to kneel. “That seems to surprise you,” Odin said. “You didn’t know?” _

_ Lucifer remained silent, his eyes fixed on the wall behind Odin’s legs. _

_ “How interesting.” He extended the cane, using the end to lift Lucifer’s chin up. “What do you know, I wonder?” _

_ Again, Lucifer said nothing, but he glared fiercely at Odin. _

_ Odin smiled softly. “I see.” Then he stepped back, saying, “He’s coming with us. Thor, go clear the way. The rest of you know what to do.” Thor nodded and left. Odin followed, grabbing Lucifer’s badge on the way. _

_ The two guards at the doorway joined the two men restraining Lucifer. He was handcuffed, gagged and hauled to his feet again. Once he was standing, a black bag was pulled over his head, obscuring the world from him. The four people whispered to each other for a second or two, then he heard one of them walk towards the living room and return. A blanket was thrown over his shoulders. They didn’t want him seen by anyone with a bag over his head in just his undergarments. At least they had some sense of decency, even if it was for their own benefit. _

_ Eventually, after walking Lucifer to what he guessed was the building’s back door, he was half-shoved, half-helped into a car. He felt two of the four guards sit on either side of him. A few seconds after the car started moving, he felt a sharp pinch on his shoulder. He determined that someone had stuck a needle in him, and then was unconscious in seconds. _

_ When Lucifer woke up again, the bag was gone, the cuffs were gone, and his mouth was free. But he was trapped in, if he wasn’t mistaken, a large-scale meat freezer. Luckily, it wasn’t in use as a freezer, but it was still bare steel walls at least a foot thick and locked from the outside. Lovely. The blanket they had given him was gone, and he had a dull headache too, probably from whatever drugs had knocked him out earlier. _

_ Slowly, he got to his feet, steadying himself with a hand on the wall. He began a slow circuit of the cell, not very hopeful in finding anything. The walls were smooth and bare, the hinges were hidden from him, and the back of the door mechanic was firmly bolted in place. Lucifer sighed and retreated to the corner in which he’d woken up. He’d really fucked this up, hadn’t he? On so many levels. Obviously, the agency, if he ever got out of this alive, would take his badge; they’d be crazy not to. He wouldn’t be able to work with Chloe anymore, even if, by some miracle or mental absence, he kept his position. They’d assign him to someone older and more experienced to keep him in line, which would be awful. _

_ But he found the chances of escape or rescue slim and getting slimmer the more he thought about it. No one knew where he was. No one knew who had taken him. He had no way to communicate to anyone any of that information. The agency didn’t even know Loki was Odin’s son, so there was nothing to expect from them. Loki Odinson, as far as the world was concerned, didn’t exist. _

_ Poor Loki. _

_ Lucifer had messed up there, too, and that held smaller prospects of redemption than anything else. Six months, they had known each other now. Six months of Lucifer convincing Loki to trust him—just a little—and to feel safe around him, and then this. Lucifer had left him hurt, untrusting, and once again trapped with his dysfunctional family. And now, just three weeks after his mother’s untimely death, crushingly alone. And it was Lucifer’s fault, wasn’t it? Had he really thought he could keep the lie up forever? He could almost hear Chloe yelling at him about how stupid that was. He wished she could. _

_ The  _ clunk _ of the door jolted him back to the current dilemma. He stood up as the door was unlocked and opened. He saw Thor, the blond mustachioed man, and the man with the bushy red beard standing outside. Thor walked in, and the two men closed the door behind him. _

_ Lucifer had time now to really look him over. They were about the same height, probably close in age, but he could guess Thor probably had a good fifteen to twenty more pounds of muscle on him. Not the best odds. And he was almost certainly armed. Lucifer decided it was best to talk this one out. _

_ “Hello,” Thor said. _

_ “Hello,” Lucifer replied. “I think I much preferred seeing you at the office.” _

_ Thor shrugged. “Your mistake.” _

_ Lucifer nodded as well. “Yes, unfortunately. Is this the ‘tell us what you know’ portion of my stay?” _

_ Thor thought for a moment. “Pretty much all of your stay is that, actually. This is just to find out how much work we need to put into it.” _

_ “Ah.” _

_ “So, how long have you been tailing us?” _

_ Lucifer hesitated. Truthfully, he had been working on the Asgardian’s case for only two years. “Define ‘tailing us?’” _

_ “Well, we know your agency has been poking at us for decades,” Thor said. “You’re not the first agent sent in, believe me. One of them lasted almost four months before we caught her.” _

_ “I take it from your tone that’s a long time.” _

_ “It is.” _

_ “So what you’re really asking is how long I’ve been undercover.” _

_ Thor contemplated this. Lucifer could tell words varied from strength to weakness rather rapidly with this one. “Yes.” _

_ “Very well. Basically as long as I’ve known your brother.” _

_ “Which is?” _

_ Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t asked him?” Thor didn’t answer. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and folded his arms. Lucifer nodded. “I see. You either did ask and he slammed a door in your face—or some equivalent—or he’s disappeared and refuses to speak with anyone.” Thor remained silent. “I see,” Lucifer repeated, more gently. _

_ “You seem to know him well,” Thor finally said, gruffly. _

_ A lump rose in Lucifer’s throat unexpectedly, and he forced it back down by clearing his throat. “Yes, well. Um. What exactly does that information do for you? How does knowing when the venture began help you? I’m curious.” _

_ “That’s not something you get to know.” _

_ “Oh. And, just to get it out of the way, what exactly are my chances of getting out of this alive?” _

_ “None.” _

_ “Right,” Lucifer said, his prediction confirmed. “So if I’m not getting out, what’s the harm in telling me? What am I going to do, tell myself?” _

_ Thor stared at him. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he said, “I’m not telling you. How long have you known Loki?” _

_ “I’m guessing Odin wants to check all your systems for vulnerabilities, starting around when I went undercover,” Lucifer said. “It’s smart. The man knows what he’s doing in that regard. Terrible parent, though. Coming from me, that’s something.” _

_ “Don’t insult my father,” Thor growled. _

_ Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Of course. You’re the loyal one, right. Reminds me of my own brother. Always obedient, always following Dad’s rules. Drives me absolutely mad just thinking about it, really.” _

_ “Are you—?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “I didn’t—” _

_ “Am I mocking you? Yes. Am I that stupid? Absolutely yes.” Lucifer noted the look of uncertainty on Thor’s face. “Put me through as much pain as you want, but I don’t give information to those I don’t respect. I have no respect for you or your father.” _

_ Thor unfolded his arms and shrugged. “We’ll see.” He turned and knocked on the door. _

_ “Prove me wrong,” Lucifer said as the door opened to let Thor out. _

_ With no sight of the outside, Lucifer had no way of knowing how much time had passed since that first conversation with Thor. As he had expected, Thor and his four… friends, Lucifer had to guess, returned time and time again to question him. Of the four, the woman frankly unnerved him. As if her lack of emotional expression wasn’t enough, she had a horrible amount of knowledge on dislocating joints. Maze would like her. The sessions all blurred together eventually, although Odin’s visit stuck out. Lucifer discovered his cane had a spring lock mechanism that released a small blade from the end. His chest now sported three long cuts from it. _

_ After a considerable amount of time—Lucifer guessed it had been about three days just based on the number of outfit changes he saw—something changed. _

_ He heard the door open and started summoning his resolve for more forceful questioning. But when the door opened, there was only Thor there. He came in, leaving the door open behind him. _

_ Lucifer furrowed his brow in confusion. What the hell was this? _

_ “I need to ask you something,” Thor said. _

_ Lucifer almost laughed out loud at the ludicrous nature of the situation. He pushed himself up into a more upright sitting position. “Are you serious?” _

_ “Yes.” He was. Lucifer’s grim smile vanished. Thor took his silence as an invitation to continue. “You seem to know my own brother better than I do.” _

_ At that mention, Lucifer stood up, slowly and wincing from sore joints and hunger. “What happened?” he asked. _

_ Thor hesitated, probably feeling the dissonance between obeying his father’s orders about Lucifer and concern for Loki. “I don’t think he’s eaten anything in two days.” _

_ Lucifer nodded, remembering how little Loki had eaten after his mother’s death. “Why do you need my advice?” _

_ “I’ve tried leaving food for him in his office, or outside his door, but he never touches it.” _

_ “What have you left him?” _

_ “Stuff I thought he liked,” Thor said, glancing behind him to make sure they were still alone. _

_ “Pasta with way too much Parmesan cheese to be healthy?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Pizza from Chester’s on Thirty-second?” _

_ Thor nodded. “Yes, his favorite.” _

_ “Pastries from—” _

_ “From the bakery on Fifty-first, yes.” _

_ “How do you think I know all of this?” Lucifer asked. _

_ “Because… he told you?” Thor guessed. _

_ “Yes, and I would get him the same things. All the time.” Lucifer sighed. “Frankly, I don’t blame him. I haven’t eaten in three days, and I wouldn’t touch Chester’s, even if it is the best pizza on the face on the earth.” _

_ “Why?” Thor was still clueless, apparently. _

_ “Because it fucking hurts!” Lucifer exclaimed. “It’s called a bad break-up! They fucking hurt, and the last thing you want to do is remind him of it!” Thor took a step back from him, surprised by the sudden outburst. Lucifer closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down. “Just… I don’t know,” he said, “make him a sandwich.” _

_ Thor nodded, eyeing him with some degree of concern. He turned and stepped out of the cell, and Lucifer sat back down in the corner, resigned to his misery. _

_ “Thor.” _

_ Thor stopped and stuck his head back in. “What?” _

_ “Thank you,” Lucifer replied weakly. “For trying.” _

_ Thor nodded, but he didn’t immediately leave. After a second of thought, he asked, “Will he be okay? Ever?” _

_ Lucifer sighed and made an uncertain gesture. “Probably not. Not in this family anyway. He hates it here. Honestly, the best thing you could do for him is turn yourselves in. At least then he’ll have a chance to get out.” _

_ After a stretch of silence, Thor left, closing and locking the door behind him. Lucifer stared at the edge of the doorframe. He had trouble believing Thor would do such a thing as turn in his whole family for his brother. It would take a miracle of some sort, and Lucifer wasn’t the kind to hope for miracles. Of all the hardships of his current situation—the cold, the hunger, the thirst, the open wounds, the black eye from the brutish brunette—the worst was the constant itch of worry at the back of his mind. What had happened to Loki? _

_ He could imagine. He knew Loki wasn’t eating, obviously, and he was likely not speaking to anyone. Thor made it sound like he hadn’t been seen in quite a long time, and that he was spending far too much time at work. While none of it was unexpected, it all worried Lucifer. He couldn’t help it. He cared, therefore, he would worry. He worried Loki would do something stupid—really stupid—and that no one would find out until he was past the point of no return. _

_ Lucifer stifled a yawn and winced when the muscles around his black eye tensed. He needed sleep, and he hadn’t been getting it, but he still tried. Wincing again, this time at the bruises and stiffness in his legs, he drew his knees to his chest and curled up to keep as warm as possible in a stark metal container. It took a long while, but exhaustion won out, gracing him with peaceful oblivion. _

_ After some unknown interval of blissfully dreamless slumber, Lucifer awoke to someone gently shaking his shoulder and speaking his name. At first, Lucifer thought he must be dreaming, because the voice sounded just like Chloe’s. But he pried his eyes open to see for himself. _

_ He had never been so happy to be awake. “Detective,” he smiled, with as much energy has he could manage after three days without food or water. _

_ Chloe’s face lit up, and she leaned forward to hug him. “Thank god you woke up, you took forever,” she began. “Are you--oh my god!” She had seen the cuts on his chest. “What happened? Who did that?” Leaving no room for answers, she took hold of his chin and turned his face this way and that, examining his bruised eye. “And this too, you poor thing.” _

_ Lucifer was still smiling. “It is so good to see you.” _

_ “I’ll bet. How did this happen? We’ve been looking all over for you since you missed check-in last night.” _

_ “Loki found my badge. Turned me in.” _

_ Chloe paused. “Loki? Your… ?” Lucifer nodded, leaning his head against the wall. Her face fell. “Oh, Lucifer… I’m so sorry. But, how is he—?” She left the question unfinished, but she made a gesture to indicate the general situation. _

_ “Involved?” Lucifer offered wryly. “Connected? Part of all this?” Chloe nodded. “He’s Odin’s son.” _

_ Her mouth fell open, but she closed it as soon as she noticed. “What? I thought— I mean— Odin only has… one?” _

_ Lucifer shrugged tiredly. When Chloe didn’t immediately ask something else, he said, “How did you lot find me?” _

_ “Someone called us. Anonymous tip.” _

_ “Really?” So maybe Thor wasn’t as blindly loyal as Lucifer had originally thought. “Interesting. When do I get out of here?” _

_ “Oh, god, yes, sorry,” Chloe gushed. “Let me help you.” _

_ Fortunately, Lucifer wasn’t so much weak as he was slow. He did lean on Chloe’s shoulder for support— she was just the right height for it— as she escorted him out. He remembered that he had never actually seen the trip to the cell because they had knocked him out for it. They were in a basement, judging only by the lack of windows and the concrete surroundings. She led him to a staircase, which led up to a kitchen, now empty of people, but considerably large. _

_ “Is this the hotel?” Lucifer asked. _

_ “No, actually,” Chloe replied. “Odin owns a mansion about an hour northwest of the city center.” _

_ “Just as extravagant, I see.” _

_ “And this is just the kitchen. Wait’ll you see the rest of the house.” _

_ “You could just leave me here, I’m absolutely famished.” _

_ “I know, I’m sorry,” she said with a grimace. “You need to get to a hospital first.” _

_ She led him through a pair of impressive double doors into a corridor that could only be likened to something out of the great European palaces. Rich red and gold carpeting— for which Lucifer’s bare feet were very grateful, gilt furniture, sparkling crystal chandeliers, and paintings every fifty feet along the walls. Already, police and special forces were bustling about, securing rooms and escorting out the staff. Chloe tugged Lucifer along until they reached the main foyer of the mansion, with a huge white marble staircase cascading down the center. Lucifer saw Thor and his four cronies were cuffed and surrounded by the agency’s best, all wearing the black raid gear. Chloe was wearing it too, although raids were hardly within the parameters of her position. She must have pulled some strings to be here. To save him. Most satisfying, Lucifer saw Odin among the captured, cuffed and guarded like he deserved. Lucifer made an effort to stand just a little taller under his gaze, to prove he hadn’t been broken. _

_ “We need those medics now,” Chloe told one of the agents on hand. She walked with Lucifer over to the stairs to sit and wait. _

_ Lucifer cast his eye over the assembled group once more. His brows drew together, and he looked them over a third time. The itch of worry at the back of his mind grew stronger. “Thor,” he said, and the man turned to him. “Where’s your brother?” _

_ After a moment, Thor replied, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since dinner.” _

_ “Did anyone else see him after that?” Lucifer said, raising his voice a little. Unhelpful silence followed. A twist of anxiety shot through Lucifer’s body. _

_ “I thought he’d want to be alone after—” Thor started, but he cut himself off and glanced at his father. _

_ Lucifer grabbed the railing of the staircase and pulled himself upright. “After what?” he asked sharply, also glancing at Odin. “What did you do?” Thor, for the first time that Lucifer had seen, looked nervous. It was an odd look for someone of his stature and build, but Lucifer only cared about why. Odin’s expression had remained unreadable throughout. “So where the hell is he?” Lucifer demanded. _

_ “I…” Thor shrugged. “Upstairs?” _

_ One of the agents spoke up. Lucifer recognized him, but couldn’t remember a name at the moment. “We’ve cleared most of the upstairs. Only a few rooms left.” _

_ “Well, which ones haven’t you cleared yet?” _

_ “This ain’t my house, Morningstar, I don’t know,” he shot back. “Anyway, they’re locked.” _

_ Before Lucifer could attempt to throttle the man, Thor asked, “Was there a plate with a sandwich in front of one of the locked rooms?” _

_ The agent thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, ya know there was. The hell’s that about?” _

_ Thor tried to push past the guards around him, but they held him back. “Let me pass!” he demanded, shouldering one of them out of the way. At that, they drew their guns, and he stopped. “Please, I need to find my brother.” _

_ “Let him through,” Lucifer said. _

_ “Lucifer,” Chloe said, “he’s a suspect.” _

_ “And he knows this house better than any one of ours. Let him through, he’s not an idiot.” _

_ “Agent Morningstar,” the agent— what was his name?-- said, “you’ve broken enough rules already. This man is—” _

_ “Oh for god’s— no not his— we’re trying to find someone with the mental stability of a Jenga tower,” Lucifer burst out, “and something tells me that one-eyed bastard just pulled the last piece out!” He looked at Odin. “Didn’t you?” _

_ “Just let me find my brother,” Thor insisted. _

_ “I’ll go with him,” Chloe offered. “I’ll keep an eye on him.” _

_ “It’s still breaking protocol—” _

_ “Oh,  _ fuck _ protocol!” Lucifer yelled. “And while you’re at it, shove rules and regulations up your bootlicking ass!” _

_ Without waiting for a reaction, he turned and raced up the stairs as fast as his legs would go. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains the aftermath of a suicide attempt. I have bolded the scenes and will put dividers (---) around them, so if you need to scroll past them, you'll know when to start and stop. The first mention is towards the beginning, and the second is at the very end. Take care of yourself, readers!

_Lucifer had a horrible feeling about this whole situation. Something told him he needed to get to Loki as fast as possible, but he had no idea where to start looking._

_He hesitated at the top of the stairs just long enough to hear Thor bellow, “Go left! All the way down the hall!”_

_He also heard Chloe shout, “Lucifer, wait!” but he ignored that and darted left. ‘Darted’ may have been a bit generous in his current state, but he moved quickly, whatever the case. The hallway was a blur until he reached the end of it, where, sure enough, there was a sandwich on a plate on the ground. It was untouched._

_“Well, you tried, mate,” Lucifer said, breathing heavily. He grabbed the door handle and tried to open the door, but, of course, it was locked. He hadn’t really thought about what he would do when presented with a sturdy locked door with nothing on him except his underwear. Thinking had not factored into this very much from the start, actually._

_“Lucifer!” Chloe came to a stop next to him. “Let me.” She pulled her pistol from her holster and pushed him out of the way. Standing to one side of the door, she fired into the lock mechanism on the door, careful to shield her face from shrapnel. Holstering her gun, she tried the door, and it opened. She pushed the door open and stepped into the darkened room._

_Lucifer followed her immediately. “Loki?” He didn’t expect a reply._

_Chloe’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his wrist. He looked to her and followed her gaze to a point just beyond the doorway leading into a second room. In the darkness, he couldn’t see much, but a pit of dread settled in his stomach. Chloe released his wrist and moved away, but Lucifer went right to the doorway._

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**_The first thing that struck him was the metallic tang to the air when he got closer. It was even darker here, but the pallor of Loki’s skin and white shirt stood out light blue in the dark._ **

**_“No, no no no no,” Lucifer whispered, hurrying over. His bare foot made a horrible squelch on the damp carpet by Loki’s body. Lucifer pushed that aside and knelt down next to him, already feeling his eyes sting with tears. “Loki, no, please no.”_ **

**_Chloe appeared behind him, shining a flashlight down on the scene. “I couldn’t get any light— oh my god.” There was so much blood. The carpet, really a pale cream in the flashlight beam, was deep crimson all around him, and Loki’s white sleeves were soaked to the elbow. “Is he…?” Chloe said, barely above a whisper._ **

**_Lucifer reached out and pressed two fingers to the side of Loki’s neck, silently begging whatever powers in the world existed. After waiting an agonizing time, he felt a weak pulse and almost laughed from pure relief. As it was, it came out as a strangled cry: half sob, half gasp. Chloe knew what that meant._ **

**_“Stay here, try to slow the bleeding, I’ll get help.” She put her flashlight down on the carpet next to him and left._ **

**_Bleeding. Stop the bleeding. Where was the… Lucifer grabbed Loki’s hands and turned them palms-up. A sudden wave of nausea passed over him, but he swallowed it down. On each wrist, two cuts some three or four inches in length started from just under the thumb and ran up the arm. Stop the bleeding. He wrapped his arms around Loki’s torso and tried to pull him upright against the side of the bed. It took him a couple attempts to fight past the spasms of grief wracking his body and to fight the urge to bury his face in Loki’s shoulder and cry. Stop the bleeding. Lucifer stood up and took Loki’s hands together, holding them in his own. He sat down on the bed with Loki sitting between his legs so Lucifer could keep his arms above his head._ **

**_Lucifer wrapped his hands around Loki’s wrists and held them as tightly as he could, still feeling the warm ooze of blood from under his palms. There was so much blood. Tears were streaming down Lucifer’s face as he pressed Loki’s knuckles to his lips. “I’m so sorry, darling,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry, I know, this is my fault.” He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Please, don’t do this, please. Don’t leave me, darling. Please, I’m begging you.” The last words barely sounded. He held Loki’s hands to his face, holding on for a life so dear to him, and sobbed._ **

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Lucifer didn’t remember much of what happened after Chloe returned with a team of people and a stretcher. He refused to let go of Loki, though, even rushing downstairs with the stretcher and even with Chloe telling him it was okay. He accompanied them right out the front doors of the mansion to the carriage loop driveway where two ambulances were parked, but there, they finally pried his blood-stained hands away. He vaguely remembered trying to resist them, but being overwhelmed by a group of people and shunted towards the other ambulance, away from Loki. He couldn’t remember how he ended up on the ground right next to the vehicle, but Chloe was there. She put her arms around him and let him cry into her shoulder until he was calm enough to let the first responders get him onto a gurney and into the ambulance._

_But he remembered seeing his hands in the light inside the ambulance. They were almost completely covered in blood, and some of it had dripped down his arms and smeared on his chest and shoulders. The smell was inescapable, assaulting his nose no matter how far away his hands were. He felt sick the whole ride to the hospital._

Lucifer came to slowly, feeling a little like he was hungover, but he knew he hadn’t been drinking. Well, actually… had he? He might have been.

_Oh, wait,_ he remembered. _I got shot_.

He opened his eyes and recognized the clean, pastel surroundings of a hospital. He groaned inwardly. He had just gotten out of here two days ago, and now he was right back here. His right arm was immobilized by a sling tied around his torso, but at least the shoulder didn’t hurt. His left arm was fine, and hooked up to his IV. Looking around a bit more, he found that his bed faced the opposite end of the room, but a large blue curtain separated his side of the room from the other. Did he have a roomie?

Other than that, there was nothing remarkable about this hospital room. He wasn’t in much pain, so the morphine must be doing its job. Ah… better living through chemistry.

After a few more minutes alone, a nurse entered. When she saw him awake, she smiled. “Welcome back, sir.” She went to the foot of his bed and picked up a clipboard hanging there. “How are you feeling?” Lucifer opened his mouth and tried to speak, but all that did was set off a coughing fit. The nurse poured a cup of water and came over to him. “You’ll be coughing for a little bit. One of the bullets went through a lung, and, while the surgery repaired function, there might be some residual fluid in there. Water?”

Lucifer accepted the cup and drank most of it. Then he tried to speak again, and this time he succeeded, although his voice was hoarse. “Which hospital?”

“You’re at St. Mark’s.”

“St. Mark…” Lucifer thought back. That… It couldn’t be. That was the hospital Loki had been taken to, while he’d been shipped off somewhere else. He gave a small smile. “Wonderful.”

“How are you feeling? Any pain?”

Lucifer shook his head. He was feeling much more awake now. “No, not at all. How long have I been out?”

The nurse went back to the clipboard. “Let’s see. You were admitted yesterday around… six forty, and it’s just about eleven fifteen the next day.”

Lucifer’s eyebrows went up. “Really? Well.”

“That’s pretty normal, honestly.” She set down the clipboard and returned to his bedside. “I just need to check your incisions to make sure everything held together overnight.”

“Oh, yes. Check away, please.”

Carefully, she pulled open the front of his gown. He was frankly curious, as he hadn’t seen any of it before. “Sorry, this might hurt a little,” she said, peeling up the corners of a long bandage stuck down the front of his chest. The cuts left by Odin’s cane had been re-stitched, probably because they had to cut across two of them to get the bullets out.

“I assure you, I can handle it.”

The nurse was as gentle as she could be, but it was still unpleasant. With the bandage gone, there was a long line of stitching visible running down the center of his chest, from mid-sternum to a few inches above his navel. After another bandage had been removed, he saw a smaller set of stitches lay a few inches to the left, right under his ribcage.

“Looks a bit like Frankenstein’s monster, I know,” the nurse said. “But, it should heal just fine. Probably look pretty badass, too.”

Lucifer smiled again. “How comforting.”

“Where did these other cuts come from?” she asked, pointing to the souvenirs from Odin. “They’re healing well, too, I’m just curious.”

“Ah. Those. A one-eyed bastard with a fancy cane.”

“... Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She nodded and moved on to check his shoulder. After she was finished, she reapplied fresh bandages to all three. “All set.”

Lucifer tugged the front of his gown closed again. “By the way, is there someone else over there?” He gestured towards the blue curtain.

“Another patient? Yeah, there is.” She paused, and then said, “I’d love to tell you all about him, but… one, doctor-patient confidentiality; two, he’s not really… talkative… like at all; and three, the other nurses have a bet on how many people he’s killed. Mike thinks seven. I don’t think he’s killed anyone, but he does have this look…” She shook her head. “And anyway, he’s asleep. That’s why I could say all of that.”

Lucifer nodded. “I see.”

The nurse nodded blankly, not sure what else to say. “I have other patients.” She smiled once more at Lucifer, then left the room.

For a while, Lucifer was alone, and it was quiet, so he ended up falling asleep. The scrape of chair legs on the floor drew him awake just in time to see the person who had moved it heading for the door.

“Detective, hang on,” he called out, his voice still not quite back up to its normal quality.

Chloe whipped around and hurried over, dropping her bag on the floor by his bed. “Oh my gosh, hey. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, your chair woke me up.”

“Oh, sorry. Do you want to go back to sleep? I can come back later.”

“No, no, no, please,” Lucifer insisted, gesturing with his left hand. “I’ve been asleep for ages.”

Chloe smirked. “Yeah, the nurse said you’ve been out since noon.”

Lucifer frowned. “What time is it?”

“About four thirty. I got out a little early to stop by.”

He nodded. After a brief pause, he asked, “Did you get my phone call?”

“Of your neighbor screaming?” she said. “Yeah, I did. It made my day, Lucifer.”

“Ah. Forgot she was home.” That must have been the person he had seen out of the corner of his darkened vision yesterday.

Chloe nodded, resting her elbow on his bed and her chin on her palm. “How are you feeling?”

Lucifer smiled. “Morphine is a wonderful thing.”

She smiled back, a little less enthusiastically. “How about everything else?”

He knew what she meant. “I forgot to eat yesterday,” he said quietly. “Sorry.”

Chloe nodded and took his free hand in hers. “It’s okay. I didn’t text you.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

Lucifer didn’t mention the series of notes Loki had left him. If he was being honest, he didn’t want to think about them much himself. “But we’re in the same hospital now,” he said hopefully.

Chloe smiled. “You’re welcome. If anyone asks, the other place _couldn’t possibly have taken any more patients_ , got it?”

“Well, well, well, Detective,” Lucifer smiled proudly. “It seems you have learned a few things from me.”

“Sure,” she replied. She added, “You should talk to him, if you can.”

Lucifer’s face fell a little. “I don’t think he’d hear me.”

“But I know there are some things you need to get off your chest.”

He sighed, but, as usual, she was right. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Chloe nodded and fell silent momentarily. “On the bright side,” she said, “Pierce can’t ask you any more questions until you’ve been discharged.”

That hadn’t occurred to Lucifer yet. “You’re right.” He considered it. “Small miracles.”

“Yeah, something like that,” she replied, eyeing the bandage on his chest. “By the way, is there anything I can bring you when I come back? Books, music? I can’t bring you alcohol.”

Lucifer feigned a tragic expression. “The injustice of it all.”

“Oh, I can get your phone to you once the police are done with it.”

Lucifer frowned. “Why the hell do they have it?”

Chloe blinked at him. There was something he should be remembering but didn’t. That was what that meant from her. “Lucifer. You killed a man.”

After a few seconds, Lucifer nodded once. “Right… Mr. Tiernan.”

“Pierce isn’t the only one with questions for you once you’re discharged,” Chloe went on. “I mean, it’s pretty obviously self-defense on your part, and he’s dead, so it shouldn’t take too long to clear up, but… you did kill someone.”

“He shot me first,” Lucifer muttered.

“Yes, exactly. Self-defense.”

“... Right, yes.” Apparently, his brain was still reeling from the pain medication. “Yes, well… I suppose a book or two would be nice. Not going to get much conversation from over there, from what I can gather.” He pointed at the blue curtain.

Chloe followed his hand. “Is there—there’s another patient over there?”

“Yes,” Lucifer replied, “although I’m just taking the nurse’s word on it, since I’ve not seen or heard anything from him. The nurses have a wager on how many people he’s killed.”

Chloe stared between Lucifer and the blue curtain. “Uh… huh,” she finally said. “Sounds like fun.” They talked for a few more minutes about everything except what had happened over the past week or so. Lucifer wanted to know about her wedding, of course. She didn’t have much more to say than earlier, but she was happy to entertain Lucifer’s ridiculous ideas about it. Eventually, they ran out of conversation.

Lucifer chanced a look out the window to his right. “If you want to beat rush hour, you might want to get on with it,” he suggested.

She checked her watch. “Yeah, I should. Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Detective.”

“And I’ll get you those books tomorrow,” she added, standing up from her chair.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Lucifer met the doctor overseeing his case, but for the most part, he was left alone. Gunshot wounds were simple, really. Get the bullet out; plug the hole; and rest. As he had expected after the nurse’s warning, he heard nothing from his neighbor, even when the nurses went in to ask how he felt. Lucifer was curious about the mysterious, silent stranger, but only when he wasn’t thinking of some way to contact Loki, or get one of the nurses to do it for him. That was the problem of being left alone.

He watched the light from outside slowly fade from his room. One of the nurses brought up dinner around six thirty or so, and, while it was far from something he would make for himself, at least he wouldn’t forget to eat. Chloe would be pleased with that. As it got later in the day, the recovery rooms got quieter. The nurses made rounds to make final check-ups on all the patients before nighttime. Lucifer had planned to use that check-up to ask where Loki was in the hospital, but the nurse who walked in was not the talkative type, immune to even Lucifer’s charms. So he settled in for yet another night in the hospital--which he despised anyway, but now one of his arms was immobilized, and his whole chest was sore. Not exactly the most comfortable sleeping conditions.

Lucifer was all too aware of the sleepless minutes ticking by as he lay half-awake in the semi-darkness. Just when his mind started slipping away to slumber, some other part of it would pipe up with a complaint: his arm should move; he should roll to his side; his chest hurt; this gown was itchy; he still didn’t know where Loki was; on and on and on for who knows how long.

The monotonous cycle was finally broken by the most unlikely of things. He heard his name spoken, sounding like it came from the other side of the blue curtain.

“Ah,” Lucifer replied, glad of some conversation, “the silent patient finally speaks.”

There was a long pause. Finally, the voice said, “You’re not used to hearing that name from me, are you?”

Lucifer’s heart dropped. How had he--why hadn’t he--he should have recognized Loki’s voice. Loki, of all people! He closed his eyes and covered them with his hand. “Loki. I’m so sorry.” When Loki didn’t reply, Lucifer added, “I got your notes.”

“Bet that was a fun read.”

So he had intended them to hurt. Lucifer took his hand from his face, forcing himself to remain calm. “Did you want an answer for them?” he asked.

“Do you have one?” The lack of emotion in Loki’s voice was hard to listen to.

“Of course I do,” Lucifer said. “But I won’t tell it to a curtain.”

There was a long stretch of silence after that. Lucifer knew Loki was hiding behind the curtain. It was a lot easier for him to take out his pain and anger when he couldn’t see Lucifer’s face. He felt safer there. But Lucifer needed to see him. Eventually, he heard the noise of an IV stand being wheeled across the floor. Then, there was movement at the edge of the curtain to Lucifer’s far right, and Loki appeared, his left hand gripping his IV stand.

Lucifer had been aching to see him for the past week, ever since they had been separated after the raid. His mind had, of course, imagined all sorts of different versions of seeing him again because it hurt less than reminding himself that he was legally barred from doing so, but this matched none of them. His first instinct upon seeing Loki was to smile at finally seeing him, but that gesture was countered almost instantly by the recognition of just how miserable he looked. Lucifer remembered how he had been following his mother’s death, but this was so much worse. The familiar urge to touch him, and hold him, and make him smile resurfaced, burning like a brand in Lucifer’s chest.

“It’s good to see you,” Lucifer said quietly.

“No, it’s not,” Loki replied instantly. That silenced Lucifer. “So,” Loki prompted, “what’s your answer? Why did you lie to me?”

After a moment of hesitation, Lucifer replied, “I didn’t lie as much as you think I did.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better?”

Lucifer sighed. “No.” Once again, it was quiet for a moment. He added, “I never knew who you were, you know. I never knew you were Odin’s.”

Loki took time to consider that, although Lucifer could read nothing from his face. “What difference does that make?” he asked.

“I…” Lucifer searched for the words. “I wasn’t using you.”

“Then why bother lying in the first place? Why bother keeping me around?”

That hurt. It was almost an insult to Lucifer’s efforts over the past six months, but he realized he probably deserved one. In the hours after he had discovered Loki’s notes, all he had thought of was why. “I didn’t want you to leave.” That sounded horribly selfish, and he knew it.

“So you lied to keep me there?” Loki said. “You realize that’s exactly what Odin did for my entire damn life. My entire life!”

Lucifer had to look away from him. The pain and anger on his face was too much. “I didn’t know,” he said quietly.

“If you didn’t know, then why?” Loki asked again, moving closer. “I was of no use to you or your agency—”

“I like being with you,” Lucifer interrupted before he got too far along. “Can’t that be a reason?” He looked back at Loki.

He looked uncertain now, just barely. He was quiet for a long moment, staring at some spot by Lucifer’s feet. It was similar to his behavior when they had first started seeing each other regularly, but before he was truly comfortable about it. But it was an improvement from outright anger.

“It’s never been a reason before.”

Lucifer had suspected that was the case, but hearing it out loud still tugged at his heartstrings. “There’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?” he asked gently. “I like you, Loki, and I care what happens to you, whether you believe it or not. Does that excuse the lies? No, of course not, and I’m sorry for them. But it did mean that, for a few days and nights out of the week, I knew you weren’t entirely miserable. Isn’t that true?”

After a long pause, Loki responded quietly. “Who’s the detective?”

Lucifer wasn’t expecting that question. “What? Why do you…?” Loki shrugged and looked away. He was ashamed to ask that. Was he jealous? “She’s my partner. Work parter," he specified. "And one of the few friends I’ve managed to keep around. Her name’s Chloe.”

Loki nodded once. “Right.”

Lucifer eyed him. “She’s the one who got me into this hospital, you know.”

“How thoughtful.” The conversation stagnated after that. Loki didn’t speak further and Lucifer was uncertain if he should say anything at all. He didn’t want to anger him again. Eventually, Loki said, “Good night,” and turned to leave.

“I'm glad you're alive.”

Loki paused, one hand on the edge of the curtain, prepared to pull it back into place. “Just don’t… talk to me unless I say so. Please.” With that, he disappeared behind the curtain, and Lucifer was once again alone in his half of the room.

If it hadn’t been difficult for Lucifer to fall asleep before, now it was almost impossible. He tried to distract himself, from counting sheep to deep breaths, whatever he could think of to keep his mind off of the person on the other side of that curtain. Nothing worked. Loki was right there. He couldn’t forget that. Just a few feet away, yet invisible and intangible as if he didn’t exist. He wanted to cry. Again. He wanted to scream and pound his fists and hope the whole world heard just how damn miserable he was.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to disturb Loki. He’d been through enough without adding Lucifer’s own heartbreak to the pile. Yet the tears came anyway, running down the sides of his face. He covered his mouth to try to stifle whatever noise he made.

_I’m fine,_ he thought to himself. _I’m fine. Go to sleep. I’m fine. Go to sleep. I’m fine. Go to sleep._ He kept repeating it, over and over until it was the only thing left in his mind.

\--------------------------------- **(Just a little repeat of the other scene)** \-------------------------------------------------------

**Lucifer was having a nightmare—not unusual anymore. They varied a little, but they all had something to do with Loki. This time, the vision was of Loki’s body lying in his own blood, still and wretched. Like he had done in life, Lucifer knelt by him, reaching shaking hands out to touch him. But before he could, Loki’s eyes flew open and he sat up.**

**Lucifer moved away, doing anything to get away from him. But Loki was too fast. His blood-soaked hands latched onto Lucifer’s forearms.**

**_“Why did you lie to me?”_ **

**Lucifer desperately twisted his arms, trying to break free of his grasp, feeling blood drip down from Loki’s wrists.**

**There was so much blood.**

**“Let go!” Lucifer cried, tugging to regain ownership of his arms.**

**So much blood.**

**Suddenly, Loki released him, shoving him back. A sharp pain flared in his abdomen, and he looked down. Dark, sticky blood was flowing from his side.**

**It was so much blood.**

**When Lucifer looked back up, Loki had disappeared. He didn’t know where he was, but there were bright lights and people’s voices. He could still feel the blood all over his hands, all over his stomach, all over everything he touched. His right arm wouldn’t move, but it felt sore at the shoulder. His breathing came in gasps and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears.**

**“Get it off,” he said to the world, holding his hands away from him. “Get it off!”**

**There was so much blood.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly shorter chapter than normal, but it's because I need the spacing to work out for the last two. Enjoy!

When Lucifer woke up, his room was dark. It must still be night, he reasoned. He blinked and lay there, remembering his situation. He had been shot, and taken to St. Mark’s. Where Loki was. Loki… was across the room from him that very moment. He had fallen asleep after talking to him. He must have had another nightmare. He opened his eyes and looked over the foot of his bed, expecting the same blue curtain. But it wasn’t there. Loki sat at the end of his bed across the room, staring down at his hands.

“No curtain?” Lucifer asked quietly.

Loki’s head snapped up. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah,” Lucifer replied, curious about his sudden willingness to speak to him. “I had a… bad dream.”

“You had a little bit more than that.”

Lucifer’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What? It’s only been--what, a few hours?”

Loki stared at him for a long moment. To Lucifer’s surprise, there was visible concern in his gaze, something it had certainly lacked when they had last spoken. “Lucifer, it’s been over twenty-four hours since we spoke. You were in surgery for four of those.”

There was silence for several seconds as Lucifer processed this. All he remembered was the nightmare, the bright lights, the voices--had some of that been real? “Why?” he asked.

“I’m… not sure,” Loki answered. “They can’t legally tell me.” Lucifer nodded. “But,” he went on, “I did hear someone say something about hemorrhaging.”

All that blood. Lucifer pushed back the blankets and pulled aside the front of his gown. His suspicions were confirmed: the smaller line of stitches on his abdomen had mysteriously grown by two inches. “Damn,” he murmured.

“Do your bad dreams often do that to you?” Loki inquired. He sounded gentler than earlier, more like the person Lucifer knew.

“Well, they’ve never put me in hospital before, no,” Lucifer replied, pulling the blankets back up to his chest.

Loki nodded. He seemed cautious of the conversation. “You were um… you were talking to yourself. Before they came in.”

Chloe had mentioned he did that occasionally--talking in his sleep. “What did you hear?”

Loki shrugged, one hand rubbing his wrist. “You said, ‘Let go.’ Then your heart monitor started going mad. Then one of the nurses noticed and brought help.” He paused. “I assumed you woke up. You kept yelling at them to get something off of you, but I couldn’t see. I only saw when they were taking you to surgery.” He gestured to the glass wall of the room.

Lucifer sighed. He was getting worse, then. “Did you um…” he began, but trailed off. He tried again. “Did you see any blood?” There had to have been some. He had felt it, sticky and warm, all over his hands and arms. But Loki shook his head. “Damn.” He really was getting worse.

Loki picked up on his disquiet. “Is something wrong?” He didn’t add the words, “with you,” but they were audible in his voice. Lucifer found he didn’t mind. Loki was speaking to him, and he could see him. He couldn’t really ask for much more.

Lucifer cleared his throat. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, trying to force a lighter tone onto the words.

“I’ve tried.” The way he said it laid out the failure that had followed it.

After a moment, Lucifer asked, “Why are you speaking to me all of a sudden? I thought… well, I guess I don’t know. I just thought…”

Loki nodded, understanding the question. “I know.” His gaze fell to the floor, and he wrapped his arms around himself protectively. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “You were gone for a long time. Four hours. Surgeries don’t take four hours unless there’s something really wrong.” Lucifer once again wished he were able to hug him. He looked like he needed it. “And I realized… that if you didn’t come back, I’d be alone.” After a pause, he went on. “My family doesn’t care. They’re not even my family.” He looked at Lucifer. “I found that out the day I--well. You know.”

“You’re adopted?” Lucifer asked, as gently as he could.

Loki’s eyes dropped to the floor again. “Not even. I was left on their doorstep as a baby. I was… lucky enough to be taken in.” He took a breath. “And I don’t have any friends, really. Just you. Whatever you are.”

“I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

Loki thought. He sighed almost inaudibly, then said, just as quietly, “I need you to stay alive.”

Lucifer smiled. “For you, Loki? Nothing easier.” A corner of Loki’s mouth twitched. Oh, it was so close to a smile. So close, but not quite. But it gave Lucifer hope. He smiled wider. “I saw that.” Loki ducked his head, trying to hide his expression. Stray locks of hair fell, framing his face. After a week or so without Loki being able to brush it straight and stick it into place like he normally did, his hair had reverted to its natural soft curls. Lucifer remembered waking up to that some mornings, and for once, the memory didn’t hurt. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said, unable to keep his eyes off Loki. “You knew I would, didn’t you?” he added as the thought occurred to him. “When you left all those notes. You wanted them to hurt, but the only reason they would was if I actually cared. You knew I cared. It was just easier pretending I didn’t.”

After a moment, Loki nodded weakly, still avoiding Lucifer’s gaze.

Lucifer could tell he was fighting the urge to cry. He’d seen enough after his mother’s death to recognize it. But he knew not to mention it. “They were good memories, though, weren’t they? On the notes. You and your cheesecake, I mean, really…”

There was a quiet gasp from Loki, but whether it was a sob or a kind of laugh, Lucifer couldn’t tell. “Yeah,” he nodded and looked up. “Then again, you did have incentive to keep giving it to me.”

“True,” Lucifer admitted. “The ratio of cheesecake to getting you in bed was rather low.” He saw Loki smile, a little, but it was wonderful. “I seem to recall a similar correlation with chocolate in general, actually.”

“And did it ever occur to you that it might have something to do with the act of giving me chocolate as a sign of affection?” Loki’s smile was growing steadily.

Lucifer scoffed, hiding his joy at seeing Loki happier. “What, you mean it was the incredibly handsome and charming man  _ giving _ you the chocolate and not the chocolate itself? Can’t be. Must be something in chocolate that makes you horny.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Loki replied, shaking his head. He got down from his bed, grabbed his IV stand, and walked over to Lucifer’s side. He sat down in the chair by the bed after turning it so he wasn't facing Lucifer directly.

Lucifer forced his free hand to stay still. He knew Loki had a difficult relationship with touching, and he wasn’t sure where he was with it now. Better not risk anything. “It’s nice to see a smile on your face again.”

“It’s nice to have a reason for it,” Loki said. There was a moment of silence, but it held far less tension than last night. “I’m being discharged tomorrow.”

Lucifer heard the apprehension. “To prison? Or--federal custody, I suppose. Wait for trial.”

Loki nodded. “Have you ever been to prison?”

“I’m afraid not.” He didn’t see or hear any fear in the way Loki asked that, but Lucifer knew better. “I’m not required to testify in the trial,” he said.

Loki looked at him suddenly. “You have to,” he said urgently. “If you don’t testify, they don’t have enough evidence against Odin to put him in jail.”

“And you too.”

“Not for as long. At most, I’ll get twenty. But Odin? He’s got dozens of murders under his belt, and dozens more he conspired in.”

Lucifer regarded him curiously. “So you really haven’t killed anyone?”

“No, of course not, I’m an accountant.”

“Oh,” Lucifer said, like that explained everything. “So you’re willing to do your time if it means Allfather gets twenty-five years to life?”

“I doubt he’ll last very long,” Loki said. “The prisons are full of people he’s put there, one way or another. Or people he’s blackmailed or people whose families he’s killed. When he dies, it won’t be of natural causes.” He looked down at his hands. “And besides, prison can’t be that bad. One thing Odin did do was teach me how to punch my way out of a situation, although Thor was always… punchier than I was. I’ll be fine.” Lucifer heard a faint tremor in his voice, as if the fidgeting hands weren’t enough of a give away. Loki brought his attention back to Lucifer. “You’ll visit, won’t you? Could you?”

Seeing the desperate hope in his eyes, it broke Lucifer’s heart all over again to have to say, “I can’t. Not for a year and a half.”

Loki’s eyes went soft. “What? Why?”

Lucifer sighed, searching for the gentlest words, and knowing there were none gentle enough. “I… My boss put a… restraining order, I guess, on me. Legally, I’m not supposed to be within a hundred feet of you. And I am forbidden to contact or communicate with you in any way.”

Loki stared at him. “Well--then--how are you at this hospital?”

“Chloe got me in here because the other hospital just  _ couldn’t take any more patients _ at the time.”

“And once you were admitted, they couldn’t transfer you,” Loki added, understanding the hidden meaning. “You were too…”

“Exactly,” Lucifer finished.

“So, once I leave tomorrow,” Loki began, “I won’t see you for a year and a half.”

Lucifer made some meaningless gesture with his hand. “Sorry.”

Loki looked away, an expression of dejection and cruel shock on his face. He slumped in his seat and was silent for a moment, trying to take it all in. “Fuck.” It was the least intimidating ‘fuck’ Lucifer had ever heard. Something about the way Loki’s accent sounded the word simply took all the malice out of it. He stood up and started walking with his IV stand towards the windows.

“Of course, once that’s over, I’ll come visit you,” Lucifer said, not sure why he had moved away. “Promise.”

Loki closed the blinds covering the windows of Lucifer’s room. “I know,” he said as he returned to Lucifer’s bedside. “But,” he went on, reaching down and brushing his fingertips over Lucifer’s hand, “that means I’ve only got a few more hours left with you, and you're the one person who makes me feel like everything's going to be okay.” He released Lucifer’s hand and leaned over to hold his face instead, and pressed their mouths together.

Without hesitation, Lucifer’s free hand moved to rest against Loki’s face, weaving fingers into his dark hair. If he hadn’t been so busy kissing, he would have been smiling like an idiot the whole time. As it was, he was only smiling like an idiot for part of the time, when Loki paused to tuck one leg under himself as he sat down on the bed. He had missed this--he had been aching for it for what felt like forever, and he finally had it back.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his right shoulder. When he tried to speak, he found his mouth was hardly in a position to do so. He sufficed by tapping Loki’s shoulder.

“What?”

“Shoulder, elbow.”

“Oh fuck!” Loki picked up his arm from where it had been leaning down onto Lucifer’s injured shoulder. “Sorry.”

Lucifer chuckled. “You know, I love it when you swear. It’s the most adorable thing, I’m telling you.”

Loki rolled his eyes.  “Shut up,” he said, and promptly did just that.

After the initial excitement had wound down, Loki wedged himself onto the bed next to Lucifer, with Lucifer’s arm around him. It wasn’t dissimilar to so many nights they had spent together, although, as Lucifer had pointed out, they were on the wrong sides of the bed. That earned a hum of laughter from Loki, which was better than anything in the world.

“I hope you realize I’m not moving anytime soon,” Loki said quietly.

“Wouldn’t want you to,” Lucifer smiled. “I might ask you to share the blanket so you don’t freeze to death, but that’s about it.”

“Fine,” Loki sighed dramatically, and sat up to adjust the blanket accordingly. He lay back down, pressed tightly against Lucifer’s side with his head on his chest.

Lucifer turned his head and kissed his forehead, just happy that he could. “The nurses are going to be so confused. They don’t know we know each other.”

“God, you’re right,” Loki smiled. “I really hope I’m awake for that.”

He wasn’t. Neither of them were awake at all, in fact. They slept soundly, surrounded by each other’s presence, and even nightmares couldn’t wake them that night. They were safe.


	7. Chapter 7

Absolutely nothing could put Lucifer in a bad mood today. Not even a day at work filled with nothing of interest to him, mostly paperwork, and no new leads on the current investigation. Still, he remained smiling and joking no matter what. Towards the end of the day, Chloe finally confronted him at his desk.

“Okay, what has gotten into you today?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

Lucifer looked up with a smile. “Whatever do you mean, Detective?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“That!” she replied, gesturing to his face. “Today has been one of the most boring days this month, and you haven’t complained once, you weren’t bothering Pierce--you’re still in a good mood. Why?”

Lucifer leaned back in his chair and folded his hands. “My eighteen months ended this morning at midnight.”

Chloe paused. “Eighteen months?”

He rolled his eyes—all in good nature, of course, but he needed to express it. “My restraining order?”

After another pensive moment, Chloe’s eyes went wide. “Your restrain—oh my gosh!” She clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle a happy squeak—not at all the dignified front she normally liked to present. “Why are you still here?” she demanded afterwards.

That was a little unexpected. “I’m sorry?”

“Why are you still here?” Chloe repeated. “Why aren’t you halfway to him?”

Lucifer chuckled and nodded. “Because there are specific visiting hours, and I can’t just drop by any time I please.”

Chloe’s body language calmed visibly, but she still had a knowing smile on her lips. “Right. So when do you get to see him?”

Lucifer leaned forward again. “Tomorrow. Taking an extended lunch break. Already cleared it with Pierce, so I don’t have him on my back.”

“That’s really wonderful,” she smiled.

“I know.” He smiled back, resting his chin on one hand. Chloe snorted in efforts to hide laughter. “What?” Lucifer asked.

Her mouth twisted as she tried to contain a giddy smile. “Nothing. You just—you look like a nine-year-old with a crush.”

Lucifer’s smile vanished instantly, and he sat up, clearing his throat. “That’s ridiculous.” He still had his reputation to consider.

Chloe coughed another laugh at his reaction. “Mm-hm. Yeah. So,” she began, fiddling with her necklace, “you’re clearly still enamored with him.” When Lucifer didn’t immediately reply and instead frowned and looked away, she added, “Yes, it’s obvious.”

Great, just what he needed. Sure, it wasn’t the worst thing to happen to his reputation, and not many people held him in high regard as a person anyway. As an agent, yes. As a person… less so. Oh well. “Well, anyway, it’s not his fault the world can’t possibly compete.”

“Right, that’s what it is,” she smiled.

Lucifer, for the third time in a minute, forced himself to stop fidgeting. The day had already crawled by at a maddeningly slow pace, and that hadn’t changed upon arriving at the prison. He had expected some delay—what with the restraining order on file and all, but the paperwork seemed to be taking forever. Then, someone had to call someone about it to confirm that in fact the restraining order had expired, rightfully so, and on and on.

Finally, they had him sign in and searched, and then he was cleared to proceed. Although, they did confiscate his cell phone, briefcase, and coat for him to retrieve when he left. He followed, and was followed by, a guard down a hall and through a doorway into a long rectangular room. Along the far long wall were about a dozen booths facing windows, each with a telephone hung on the wall. There were only three other visitors at that time. The guards lead him to a chair, and Lucifer sat.

“Wait here,” the guard he had followed told him. “We’ll bring him in in a bit. You’ll have fifteen minutes.”

The guard behind him assumed a position against the back wall, with the other three guards there for the other three visitors.

Knots of anticipation tightened in Lucifer’s gut. What would they talk about? What had changed? A year and a half was more than enough time for things to change. Lucifer stared through the window in front of him at the opposite room. It was roughly identical to the one in which he sat, right down to the number of guards. Would he look any different? Well, obviously some things wouldn’t change, but his hair… Could Loki grow a beard? Lucifer realized he didn’t know. It seemed like something he definitely should have found out by now.

Movement beyond the glass brought him back to the present moment. He sat up, looking for the source. But it was just the guard on the far left moving forward to the prisoner at the far end, taking his arms and standing him up to put cuffs on his wrists. His visit was over, and he was led out of the door, disappearing from view. Lucifer turned his head, leaning back in his chair a little, and saw a man get up from a booth far at the end. A guard came forward to escort him out as well. He sighed and returned his attention to the room on the other side of the glass in front of him. Why did time always go slowest when you were in anticipation?

Finally, more movement at the opposite door caught his eye. The door opened, admitting a guard, and then--there he was. It was really him, in the flesh, and looking whole and unharmed, thankfully. A smile instantly formed on Lucifer’s face, and he knew it wasn’t going away any time soon. A second guard led Loki over to the chair and booth opposite Lucifer and sat down. It was then Lucifer realized that Loki couldn’t see him through the glass--if he could, he would have reacted in some way. He watched the guard speak with Loki, pointing out the phone and something else in the booth invisible to Lucifer. Loki nodded seriously, and the guard removed his cuffs and retreated to the back wall.

Loki centered himself in the booth, looking just as nervous as Lucifer had--and likely still did. He reached to the invisible spot to which the guard had pointed, and a bright light turned on within the pane of glass. Clever system.

Loki’s face had a small smile on it, matching Lucifer's. For a moment, they stared at each other, drinking in the sight. Loki reached for the phone first, because Lucifer’s words had abandoned him in a heartbeat. When Lucifer didn’t move, Loki tapped the glass with a finger, snapping Lucifer awake again.

“Oh, right,” Lucifer said, picking up the phone and holding it to his ear. “Hello, darling.”

Loki smiled softly. “It’s really been a year and a half, then, has it?”

“I know. Doesn’t feel like it?”

Loki shrugged indifferently. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Believe me, if I could have, I would have teleported here, Loki.”

Loki kept smiling. “I think they would have shot you on sight.”

“Mm,” Lucifer frowned. “Probably right. Don’t want to go through that all over again.”

Loki nodded. “You’re all healed up, then?”

“Perfectly.” There was a pause. Loki’s hair was much longer than it had been; it was almost past his shoulders. It still had the soft curls like always. Honestly, he was so damn beautiful, it almost wasn’t fair. “How are you?”

He hesitated, his eyes roaming his environment before answering, “Well… it’s prison. It’s not meant to be enjoyable.”

“Right, of course,” Lucifer agreed. “But, you’re not hurt, or anything?”

“No,” Loki said with a small shake of his head. “And because I know you’ll ask, the worst I’ve gotten so far is some nasty bruises.” He paused before adding, “Odin did teach me how to defend myself, don’t worry.”

“Did he? So if you’re getting bruises, what are the other guys getting?”

A smirk tugged up a corner of his mouth. “What they asked for.” Lucifer chuckled, unsurprised by the answer. “What about you? How’s life been treating my favorite person?”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Am I your favorite?” He didn’t deny the contented warmth that gave him.

“Well, you and the cook who works Fridays. He makes wonderful lasagna.”

Feigning offense, Lucifer said, “Are you degrading my skill at making Italian food, Loki?”

“No, I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“Oh, I see,” Lucifer replied dramatically. That got a quiet laugh from Loki.

“But seriously, how are you?”

“Not too bad. Work is work, and all. The flat still feels a bit empty sometimes.”

“You kept your job?” Loki asked, sounding surprised.

“Oh, yes,” Lucifer nodded. “Despite the um… atrocities at the end, my assignment was a success. A resounding success, in fact. I was only there to decipher Odin’s chain of command, and I ended up bringing it all down. With a little help.”

“Whose?”

“Your brother, I think.”

Loki’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”

Lucifer nodded. “Yes, I think.” He related the short scene of Thor’s solo visit, asking about Loki. “Next thing I knew, the agency had an anonymous tip off. I never found out for certain, though,” he finished.

“You could visit and ask him yourself. He doesn’t have much to lose now.”

“True…. I might.”

There was a silent stretch there, between conversation topics. Lucifer absent-mindedly placed the fingertips of his free hand on the glass, lightly resting them there. He didn’t pay much attention until Loki did the same, matching up his fingers with Lucifer’s on the opposite side. So close, and yet…. They shared a bittersweet smile, looking down at their hands.

“Lucifer,” Loki said at length, and gently, “I just realized. It’s been almost two years since we met.”

Lucifer remained silent for a moment more, now out of stunned amazement rather than a lack of conversation. Had it really? It had. The gala had been in October, only a few days from today. Two years… Two years he’d known Loki. It caught him off guard a little. He’d never worked to maintain a relationship for that long in his life, aside from Chloe, and sort of Maze. But this was different. It wasn’t friendship, it was… what? They’d never put a name on it.

“Two years, is it?” he said quietly.

Loki nodded. “It’s pretty incredible, if you think about it.”

“And we’ve missed out on three quarters of it,” Lucifer added.

Loki nodded again, taking a slow breath. “I know.” He bit his lip, thinking hard about something. Lucifer waited for him. Eventually, he said, “I’m not going to lie to you… there’ve been days in here—whole weeks, sometimes—when I didn’t believe you’d come back. The year and a half would be up and… you wouldn’t be there.”

It took a few seconds to search for the words to reply to that. Lucifer couldn’t say he was surprised to hear that from Loki, with all his trust issues, but it would never be easy to hear. “Well, I did show up. So you can tell whatever part of your brain that thought that up that it’s a two-faced liar.” That made Loki smile a little. “And besides,” he went on, “my mind still plays tricks on me every now and again.”

“Like what happened at the hospital?”

“Yes, like that.”

Loki pursed his lips. “Did you ever get that looked at?”

Lucifer took a breath and nodded. “Yes. Yes, it’s um… sensory hallucinations brought on by PTSD. That’s what the professionals called it.”

“Do you know what triggers it?”

“Uh…” Lucifer shifted in his seat. He still wasn’t comfortable discussing his… his issues up there. “Usually just blood. Tends to be.”

“You deal with it?”

“As well as I can, of course.” He cleared his throat. “What is this, I’m not in therapy. That’s Tuesdays.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Too bad, I care about you.”

“Oh, well, in that case,” Lucifer smiled. “What about you?”

Loki shrugged. “I get by.” Before Lucifer could speak, he added, “I’m not okay. I know that. And yes, there is a psychiatrist here, but I don’t like him.”

“O...kay,” Lucifer said. Once again, he wasn’t surprised. Loki had never been well, as far as mental health, and they both knew it. But at least he admitted it.

“Maybe I’ll get better now,” he said. “Now that we can see each other.” That brought smiles back to their faces. “Speaking of,” Loki continued, “when will you be back?”

“Well, considering you’re only allowed one visit every two weeks, and Saturdays exist, probably in two Saturdays. That way I don’t have to keep taking time off work.”

“Makes sense.”

“Hey, do you—I mean, um…” Dammit, he was floundering for words. He just wanted to ask a question! Loki’s little smirk didn’t make it any easier. “What I’m trying to say—”

“Not very well…”

“Oh hush.”

“It just so rarely happens.”

Lucifer gave him a disparaging look. “Look, I just want to ask if you want to… name whatever we’ve got.”

Loki blinked, considering it for a moment. “I didn’t know you wanted one, but of course.”

“It’s just—I need something to call us, is all.”

Loki’s little crooked smirk still hadn’t faded. This was entertaining him immensely. “So what do you want to call us?”

Lucifer felt his face heat up, which was ridiculous, of course. “Well… how’s boyfriends?”

“Never had one of those before.”

Lucifer smiled. “You do now.”

“I have also never hated glass more than right now,” Loki replied. “Because I would kiss you so hard right now.”

“I know, it’s awful.”

Loki turned sharply, looking to the guard behind him. After a moment, Loki nodded and turned back. “One minute warning.” Lucifer dipped his chin in acknowledgement. “By the way,” Loki said, “your, um… your friend, the detective—how is she?”

That was an odd question from Loki, of all people. To Lucifer’s knowledge, they’d only met once, when Lucifer and Loki had been separated at the hospital—none too gently, he could add. “She’s fine, why do you ask?” He didn’t bother correcting Chloe’s mistaken career. They didn’t have time for that.

“I know she cares about you. That’s enough for my respect.”

“Ah. She’s just fine. Still my partner. She got married a few months after you ended up here, actually.”

“Bet you were sorry not to have a dance partner,” Loki said with a smile tugging against a sad frown.

Lucifer gazed at him, knowing there was very little in the world he wouldn’t do just to hold his hand again. Old wounds of grief started to ache after many months had soothed them calm. But he managed a smile, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. “It nearly broke my heart, darling.”

The visits continued, two weeks after two weeks, month after month. They were always tainted bittersweet, but they learned to accept that as just another part of life now. The visits Lucifer paid closest to Loki’s birthday always hurt, though, and there was no avoiding that.

“I think I missed my birthday last year,” Loki remarked after Lucifer had mentioned it. He thought in silence for a moment, then shrugged. “Either way, it wasn’t celebrated by anyone.”

Lucifer nodded, pursing his lips, debating whether or not to say what was on his mind. Unfortunately, Loki had a nasty talent for coaxing the truth out of him. “I, um… I sort of did.”

“What?”

“Well, I just remembered I had to make your birthday that first year, so I went to the Cheesecake Factory in your honor.”

Loki smiled. “If I weren’t in here, that would be pathetic. But I guess it’s sort of sweet.”

“I’ll bet you don’t get cheesecake in there, do you?”

“No, not anything I would call cheesecake,” Loki said, slumping in his seat. “I fucking miss it.”

“First place you’ll go after you’re out, is it?” Lucifer smiled.

Again, Loki paused briefly. “No, not first, I don’t think.”

There was a spark of mischief in his eyes, one that Lucifer had sorely missed. “No?”

The spark brightened. “You’ve still got a bedroom, haven’t you?”

Lucifer absolutely adored this man. There were plenty of good reasons they got along so well, and the sense of humor was definitely one of them. He chuckled. “You are amazing.”

A couple years later, Lucifer's managed a visit on Loki’s birthday. He had a card, and he could barely wait to show it to Loki. “One more birthday down,” he said.

“Thanks for the reminder,” Loki smiled. “Please tell me you’re not still celebrating it without me?”

“I don’t have to today, I get to see you.”

Loki eyed him with suspicion. Not much could get past him. “You’ve brought something, haven’t you? I can see you moving it on the table.”

“Fine, ruin the surprise,” Lucifer replied. “I can’t bring much, but yes. I brought this.” He picked up the card and propped it open so it stood upright. It was light green with a black cat’s head sticking up from the bottom of the card, looking up at the phrase,  _ Another Birthday? _

“I never told you I liked cats.”

“It was an educated guess.”

“Open it.”

“Demanding, are we?” Lucifer smiled, keeping the phone to his ear with his shoulder.

“It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to be demanding,” Loki replied.

“Can’t argue with that.” Lucifer opened the card and pressed it to the glass. He knew what it said. The inside was also green, with the same black cat, now fully visible and playing with a dark green yarn ball. The text said,  _ You’ve gotta be kitten me… _ Lucifer’s additional message read as such:  _ Loki, it’s hard to believe I’ve known you for over four years now, but it’s true. You’re still the most amazing and fascinating person I’ve ever met, and I’m more than happy to wait for you. Happy birthday, darling. I love you. Lucifer. _

He watched as Loki read it, following his blue eyes back and forth until they flicked up to meet his again. “Read it to me.”

Lucifer blinked. “You just read it.”

Loki smiled smugly, although behind that, there was barely contained bliss in his face. “I want to hear you say it.”

How could he argue with that? So he did. And he watched Loki’s smile grow, and his ears turn pink. He looked back at Loki when he finished. “How was that?”

After a moment, Loki said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that from you.”

Lucifer knew what he meant. That was the reason he had been so excited to show him the card. “It’s true.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

Loki’s smile never wavered. “Again.”

“I love you.” He would gladly repeat those three words for the rest of the fifteen minutes, if Loki wanted him to do it.

Loki’s smile had softened from the smug satisfaction of earlier. From what Lucifer knew, those three words can’t have been too common in his life. “Took you long enough.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was a long wait. The visits helped them both, of course, but they didn’t make time go any faster. While Lucifer never got tired of driving out of his way every two weeks, because it meant seeing and hearing Loki, his flat still felt empty when he came home from work. Holidays were always a little painful. Lucifer usually ended up cooking for Chloe and her family—expanded by one, since she and Dan had had a daughter. But it was never quite right, he could tell, despite not really knowing what he was missing in the first place. He knew he should be grateful that he only had to wait eight years, which was a fraction of the sentences Thor and Odin had received, but still… it was a long time.

Those eight years were finally over today, and Lucifer couldn’t be happier. There had been an absurd amount of paperwork approaching this day. Loki and Lucifer weren’t related in any way the government saw as relevant—Lucifer planned to change that, and soon—so the prison administration had needed more than a little convincing to release Loki into his care. By this point, many of the staff there knew or at least recognized Lucifer, so when he walked in that day with an unshakable smile on his face, they didn’t have to ask why.

Of course, there was more paperwork. Lucifer handed off the garment bag containing clothes for Loki to a warden while said nuisance was dealt with. He did his best to pay attention to all of it, because it was very, very important—Loki was technically on parole for the next year, and then he was totally free, if everything went perfectly. Lucifer was determined to make everything go perfectly.

“These are the written terms of his parole,” the officer said, handing Lucifer a packet of paper. “You keep those.”

“Thanks very much.”

“And that’s all for today.”

“Really?” That had been… easy.

The man nodded. “Yep.”

If it were possible, Lucifer’s smile grew. “Wonderful.”

Then it was only another few minutes to wait. They were ridiculously long minutes. But finally, he heard footsteps approaching, and Loki appeared, flanked by two guards. He was free of any restraints and holding the empty garment bag, carefully folded, of course—it was Loki. His eyes lit up upon seeing Lucifer, but he was intercepted by the same officer that had overseen the rest of the paperwork. He got a final briefing on parole, and he nodded along, stealing glances at Lucifer all the while.

“Okay?”

Loki nodded seriously. “Understood, sir.”

The officer stepped aside. “Then you’re free to go.”

Loki needed no further prompting to half-run to Lucifer for a long-awaited hug. It was remarkable to him that after eight years nothing had changed: Loki still fit perfectly in his arms, still buried his face in his shoulder, and clung so tightly to him. Lucifer smiled and waved a hand at the staff and the officer. “See you in a year then, chaps?”

Loki released him, keeping one arm around his waist. “I want cheesecake, let’s go,” he told Lucifer.

And they left. They, together, left, and the sun was shining, and it was finally spring in the city, and they were beyond happy. Upon getting in the car, Loki cast an eye around for other people, confirmed there was no one, then reached over to Lucifer’s jacket and pulled him into a kiss they both had been wanting for eight years. Lucifer felt Loki smile against his lips and kissed him harder.

“I have missed that,” Loki sighed.

“You’re not the only one, darling,” Lucifer replied, caressing Loki’s cheek.

“I should let you drive, shouldn’t I?”

“If you want your cheesecake, you might think about it.” Loki considered this, and must have decided in favor of cheesecake, because he pecked Lucifer on the mouth and then sat back in his seat. Lucifer started the car and shook his head. “Am I ever going to beat cheesecake for your affections?”

Loki smirked. “You’ll have to work for it.”

After they had driven back to the city and driven past the normal route to the Cheesecake Factory, Loki grew more and more suspicious.

“Where are we going?”

“Home,” Lucifer replied, enjoying Loki’s confusion.

Loki looked at him. “If you think you can get me home without cheesecake--”

Lucifer feigned offense. “Of course not, darling, who do you take me for? There’s cheesecake at home. I made it, and you may have as much as you like after dinner.”

“Oh come on!” Loki groaned. “After? Why the hell after?”

“Because I’m making dinner for you, obviously.”

“Which means I can’t eat cheesecake?”

“I don’t want you ruining your palette,” Lucifer smiled.

“I’ll ruin your palette,” Loki grumbled.

Lucifer laughed. “I’m joking, darling, I’m joking! It’s your cheesecake, and as far as I’m concerned, you may eat as much of it as you like, whenever you like.”

Loki smacked his shoulder. “Don’t joke about cheesecake!”

When they got back to the apartment, Loki was practically dancing in place to get inside and get to the refrigerator where he knew the cheesecake was.

“I’m almost tempted to not let you in without a toll,” Lucifer smiled, the key in his hand.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Like I’m not going to let you fuck me within an inch of my life tonight. Just open the damn door.”

“I really hope the neighbors heard that,” Lucifer chuckled, opening the door and stepping aside so Loki could walk past him to the kitchen. To his surprise, Loki didn’t go right to the fridge for the cheesecake. He stopped, like he had come across an invisible barrier, halting his progress. Lucifer came to stand beside him, waiting for him to speak. Loki stepped closer and leaned against him, so Lucifer put an arm around him.

“Not much has changed here, has it?” Loki said.

“Not really, no,” Lucifer replied. “Maybe a few new books on the bookshelf… I did get a few new records you’ll have to listen to. But not much else.”

Loki hummed a short acknowledgement. He tilted his head to rest against Lucifer’s. “This is a good place.”

Lucifer turned to press a kiss to his temple. “All the better for having you back, darling.”

“Gets lonely, hm?”

He kept his head turned towards Loki, eyes closed, resting his forehead there and relishing the feeling of Loki’s soft hair against his face. “Terribly.” He only moved when he felt Loki move.

Loki was looking at him with the most transparency in his expression Lucifer had ever seen. The pain of his past, the current bliss and love and longing--it was all visible in his beautiful blue-green eyes. He reached up a hand to trace Lucifer’s jaw and chin, his eyes following his fingers’ motions as they rose to brush his lips. “I literally love you more than life itself,” he murmured. His eyes flicked up to meet Lucifer’s for just an instant before kissing him, gently.

Lucifer melted into the kiss, drawing him closer, their bodies pressed fully against each other. There was kiss after kiss, because they were desperate to remember what it felt like to be held and cherished by the other, how they moved together, the give and take. Loki’s hands worked their way under Lucifer’s jacket, not with the intention to take it off, just wanting to be closer to him. Lucifer couldn’t be happier, of course. Several blissful eternities passed until they stood still. Loki put his arms around Lucifer’s neck and buried his face in the crook of Lucifer’s shoulder. In return, Lucifer pressed his cheek against his hair and held him tightly.

“You smell the same,” Loki mumbled.

Lucifer smiled. “Good to know.”

They remained like that for a little longer before Lucifer had to insist that he had to make dinner. Loki let him go reluctantly, but he brightened when he was invited to help cook. Watching him move around the kitchen, Lucifer was struck by how at ease he seemed, how at home, like he belonged there. To think, he hadn’t been here in eight years, yet he fit right in immediately. And just like in the beginning, Lucifer found it ridiculously hard to concentrate on anything else once he rolled his sleeves up.

“Have you been working out?” he finally asked when dinner was finishing up.

Loki paused. “Have you been checking me out?”

“Absolutely.” Then again, even if he hadn’t been, it was fairly easy to see that Loki’s frame had filled out.

“Good, I have. Prison gets boring.”

Lucifer nodded. “I can only imagine.” Loki stood up, clearing his place as he did so. Lucifer did the same. “Obviously, that’s awful, but I’m not exactly going to complain about the results.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Loki stood aside after putting his dishes in the dishwasher. “Anyway, it looks like I’m not the only one.” He poked Lucifer’s upper arm.

Lucifer smiled at him and nodded. “I needed a distraction.”

“Well, like you said, I’m not complaining about the results.” He waited until Lucifer closed the dishwasher before moving in to kiss him. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Anything for you,” Lucifer smiled back.

“Even cheesecake, apparently.”

“It’s all yours.”

Loki grinned widely and went to the fridge. Lucifer had worked hard on this cheesecake. It was perfectly engineered, as well as Lucifer could manage, to be Loki’s favorite. Chocolate? Oh, there was chocolate. Most of it was chocolate, in fact. He was particularly proud of the crust. Normally, he would have used crushed Oreos, to keep with the chocolate theme, but then he had remembered that Chloe’s little monster Trixie (a term of endearment, of course) was trying out Girl Scouts. He was very much looking forward to Loki’s reaction to that.

Loki set the dish on the island and removed the tin foil cover from the top. He looked at it for a moment, then turned to Lucifer, who was standing right next to him looking over his shoulder. “You are a hopeless romantic.”

Lucifer smiled at him. “Yes.” He had decorated the dessert with dark chocolate drizzle, but he had added in white chocolate two elegant letter L’s entwined over the top.

“I absolutely adore it.”

Lucifer reached over to a drawer to pull out a knife and a pie server. “Yes, and, like someone else you adore, it’s much better in your mouth than on the counter.”

Loki took the utensils from him, and Lucifer moved away to retrieve plates and forks. “It’s so pretty, I almost don’t want to ruin it,” he remarked. He caught Lucifer’s unbelieving glance, and added, “Almost.”

“That mentality certainly didn’t stop you when you met me,” Lucifer replied.

Loki snorted. “With that ass, not much would.” That got a good chuckle from them both.

Then they sat down with their dessert, and Lucifer insisted Loki try it first. So he did. His eyes closed, he set down his fork, and he leaned back in his chair. Lucifer smiled. “Good, is it?”

Loki didn’t reply immediately, but after a bit, he came back to himself and said, “Fuck, it’s amazing! What is the crust, it’s fucking—what is it? Fucking delicious.”

“You don’t recognize that? Courtesy of Chloe’s little monster. She’s a Girl Scout. For the moment, anyway.”

Loki stared at him. “Thin Mints? You’re a genius.”

“I knew you’d like it.”

“Eat it yourself, quit gaping at me.”

“I like gaping at you.” Loki rolled his eyes and took another bite of cheesecake, silencing him momentarily. Lucifer smiled and picked up his fork.

They ended up on the couch after dinner, just like they had on many nights before. Luckily, it was a Friday, which meant Lucifer didn’t have to work the next day. He let Loki pick what they watched, and, like the fates were on their side,  _ Terminator 2 _ was on television.

“Am I going to be woken up in the middle of the night for another rant about unrealism?” Lucifer smiled, lifting his arm out of the way for Loki to curl up next to him.

“Maybe,” Loki smiled back, swinging his legs over Lucifer’s lap and settling against his chest. Just like in the beginning.

“Good.” Lucifer kissed his forehead. “I want cuddle privileges.”

“You’re literally cuddling me right now.”

“I want more cuddle privileges.”

Loki raised his head from Lucifer’s shoulder to kiss his cheek. “You’re adorable.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” he grinned smugly, and Lucifer did not hesitate to do so.

They watched the movie in contented quiet after that, with Loki making his little side comments as always. Lucifer’s hand absently stroked Loki’s hair. It had gotten awfully long behind bars, now reaching below his shoulders, soft and loosely curled. Utterly beautiful. He had to say something, but he was interrupted by the realization of Loki’s hand tugging at his shirt collar.

“What exactly are you doing there, darling?”

“I want to see your scars from the hospital,” Loki replied.

“Why?”

Loki hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“If you want my shirt undone, you can just ask without an excuse.”

He thought about that, tracing small circles on the gap of exposed skin above Lucifer’s shirt. “Wanna see mine?”

“What?”

Loki held up his left wrist, displaying a thin, white line up his arm. “They don't bother me as much as they used to.”

Lucifer gently took hold of his wrist, running his thumb along the scar. He had half-expected a visceral reaction to it from his subconscious, but nothing happened. It was remarkable how such a horrific event could be reduced to a pair of faint scars. “They healed well,” he said.

“Now can I undo your shirt?”

Lucifer smiled and shook his head. “Go ahead.”

Lucifer went back to watching the television, but he was acutely aware of Loki’s hand moving down his chest, button by button, until he stopped at Lucifer’s belt. His fingers lightly traced the crisscrossing scars over Lucifer’s chest. Lucifer had memorized them long ago, not giving them much thought on the daily, but Loki’s attention was new. He ran his fingers along the long scar down the center of his chest, then noticed the smaller scar beside it.

“What’s this one?”

“Bullet,” Lucifer answered. He added, “And the hemorrhage.”

Loki nodded silently. He moved on to the three horizontal cuts overlapping the surgery sites. He traced them all slowly. They had healed less smoothly than the incisions. “Where did these come from?”

“Odin.”

Loki looked up at him. “His cane.” Lucifer nodded. “I remember when Mother found out about it.”

“She didn’t know?”

“She didn’t know about the hidden blade.” Loki reached over and tried to push Lucifer’s shirt away from his shoulder to see the remaining damage from the fourth bullet. Lucifer helped by shrugging out of the sleeve entirely. Loki smiled. “I wasn’t expecting a gunshow, but I’m not complaining.” Lucifer chuckled, looking to see Loki’s reaction when he flexed his bare arm. Loki stared for a second, then whispered, “I have never been so gay in my entire life.”

Lucifer laughed and placed a kiss on his temple. “You’re precious.”

“No, I’m just really fucking gay right now.”

“Think you can hold it together for twenty more minutes? I’d like to actually  _ watch _ the rest of the film.”

Loki groaned dramatically, leaning back onto the couch. “Fine…. It’s a good thing you’re good-looking, you know.”

“I have been told.”

He sat back up, curling up against Lucifer as before, and waited until the movie had ended and Lucifer had switched off the television. “So now what?”

Lucifer scoffed. “Like you don’t already have ideas. Don’t act innocent.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do, come on.”

Loki pretended to think about this for a second before coming to some realization. “Oh,” he said slowly, putting his arms around Lucifer’s neck, “you mean the thing with you face-down in the bedsheets, begging me not to stop?”

Lucifer smiled. “That sounds like fun.”

Loki moved to rest their foreheads together. “It does sound like fun,” he agreed in a low voice.

“Are you going to let me stand up so we can accomplish this?”

“You could carry me.”

“But I won’t.”

“Spoilsport,” Loki said, finally relenting and moving his legs so Lucifer could stand up.

“How am  _ I _ a spoilsport?” Lucifer asked, getting to his feet.

Loki smirked and stood up as well. “Because,” he said, running his hands up Lucifer’s chest and clasping them behind his neck.

“Because…?” Lucifer moved closer, slipping one arm around his waist.

In reply, Loki pressed their mouths together firmly, pulling them even closer. He kissed back, leaning into it. Lucifer felt his hand move to where his shirt still hung from his shoulder, and let him slide it off and pull it free from his pants, relishing the feeling of his hand moving down his arm. Loki’s arms wrapped around his neck, while he tugged Loki’s shirt up as well, pressing his palms against bare skin.

Loki inhaled sharply and broke away to say, “I think we should relocate before we get carried away.” Lucifer only kissed him again, enthusiastically at that, sliding his bare arms around Loki's bare waist under his shirt. When Loki had regained verbal function of his mouth, he asked, “Are you sure you only had one drink with dinner?”

Lucifer smiled, just tipsy from the taste of Loki's mouth and the warmth of his body. “I haven't had you in eight years, I'm allowed to be excited.”

He leaned in again, but Loki’s hand came up to cover his mouth. “Bed,” he insisted. “I’m not doing this here, not again—bed.”

“When did—oh, yes, I remember now,” Lucifer replied, loosening his grasp around Loki’s waist.

“Yeah, you almost broke my nose,” Loki reminded him, taking his hand and tugging him towards the bedroom.

“I apologized!”

Some time later, Loki stood behind the bathroom sink, leaning against the wall and waiting for Lucifer to finish getting ready for bed after their shower. His hair was still damp and obviously untamed, so it stuck out in places. It was very cute, and Loki very much wanted to play with it, which would annoy Lucifer to no end. That was a good sign--Loki’s mischievous self resurfacing. In prison, he had quickly learned that tricks were good enough motive for attempted murder, so he’d suppressed those thoughts as best he could. But here, he felt at home, and he felt safe. He could pull pranks and Lucifer wouldn’t try to kill him.

On the subject of feeling at home, Loki had been a little surprised to find how much Lucifer had prepared for him to come back. He had set out towels, a toothbrush, toothpaste, right down to the same kind of shampoo Loki had used before. He had even pulled out the flannel pants Loki liked to wear to bed, which he had originally borrowed from Lucifer some night during those first six months. It felt like home.

“You could have waited in the bedroom,” Lucifer pointed out, putting the cap back on the bottle of mouthwash.

“And pass up an opportunity to stare at your ass?” Loki replied. “I don’t think so.”

“You’re right,” Lucifer said, turning around, “doesn’t sound like you at all.” Loki stepped forward, looking at his neck and shoulders. “Admiring your handiwork?”

“I did a good job,” Loki replied, brushing his fingers over one of the marks.

“Yes, I’m sure I’ll feel it in the morning,” Lucifer had to agree. Loki leaned forward and kissed his mouth, garnering a small noise of appreciation. In the split second afterwards in which Lucifer was still distracted, he reached up and ran his fingers through Lucifer’s hair, mussing it up spectacularly. Instantly, Lucifer grabbed his wrist and poked him in the ribs.

Loki caved in where Lucifer had poked him, a smile forcing its way onto his face. “Hey!”

“You thought I forgot where you’re ticklish?” He released Loki’s wrist to fix his hair.

Loki smirked and followed him out of the room, flicking the lights off on his way. He immediately flopped onto his back on his side of the bed while Lucifer went to check that the window was closed and the curtains were drawn. “I will never know how I survived eight years on that prison mattress,” he sighed, feeling himself sink into the bed and closing his eyes.

“You certainly have my respect for that.” He felt Lucifer lift the covers and lie down beside him. It didn’t take long for Loki to get chilly and also climb under the sheets, scooching over to meet Lucifer. “Tomorrow’s Saturday,” Lucifer remarked once they had both settled in.

“Any plans for us?”

After a brief pause, he said, “Well, I do intend to stop by a jeweler.”

Loki furrowed his brow in thought. “Why a jeweler?”

“To look at jewelry,” Lucifer answered. He brought up his left hand, using his thumb to point to the third finger.

Admittedly, it took Loki a bit longer than it should have to realize what he meant. When he did, he pushed himself up on one elbow and stared wide-eyed at Lucifer. “Are you--”

“No, I’m not proposing right now.”

“Are you going to tomorrow?”

“Not unless you want me to.”

Loki paused, taking in the information. “Right,” he said eventually, in a calmer voice than he had expected, considering his heart was pounding. “But, you do want to.”

“To marry you, yes, of course,” Lucifer replied. Loki lay back down, staring at the ceiling. “I love you, and I want to spend as much of my life with you as I possibly can. Besides, you wouldn’t believe the paperwork I had to go through just to let you stay here on parole just because we’re not legally bound in any way.”

“You hate paperwork,” Loki said, smiling softly at him.

“I love you more than I hate paperwork,” Lucifer smiled back.

“Jeweler it is then.”

**One Year-ish Later**

The seasons had shifted so that, finally, it stayed warm during the night. In such a big city, it didn’t take much time after June started. It was the end of June now, with the brunt of summer just around the corner, when the sun didn’t set until nine o’clock, and all the local beaches were packed until closing time. Luckily, Lucifer knew just the right people.

“Since when do you have friends with private beaches?” Loki asked, raising his voice slightly over the car’s engine and the whipping wind through the windows.

“Friend from university,” Lucifer replied in a similar pitch. “Haven’t moved into their summer house here yet, so they said I could use it for a night or so.”

“Use it for what, exactly? You haven’t told me.”

“You never took a nighttime beach stroll, darling? They’re simply to die for!”

A few minutes later, they approached a huge metal gate in a high stone wall. Lucifer punched in a number code, then they were driving slowly up the long driveway to a towering house by the sea. They could smell the salt air from the car. Lucifer parked the car and led Loki around the massive residence to a little path in the trees, leading to the sea.

“It’s been ages since I’ve been this close to the ocean,” Loki remarked as the moonlit sand came into view.

Lucifer took his hand. “I’m glad I get to bring you to it.”

When they reached the beach, Lucifer stepped out of his flip-flops and stuck them in his back pocket. After a little bit of walking, Loki did the same. He stood in place, wiggling his toes into the sand and smiling. When he caught Lucifer gazing at him like the lovestruck dumbass he was, he cleared his throat and kept walking. They walked the length of the beach, with Loki picking up shells and small stones along the way, then turned and walked back until they found a spot to sit down. Lucifer stretched out on his back, staring sometimes at the sky, but most of the time at the man he loved. Loki stuck his little treasures in the sand, arranging them in different patterns, then rearranging them, over and over. When he grew bored of that, he stared out to sea, listening to the waves, smelling the tangy air, feeling the breeze tug his hair. Eventually, he lay down too, perpendicular to Lucifer, with his head on Lucifer’s chest, looking up at the stars.

“I like it here,” he said quietly.

Lucifer smiled. “Thought you might.” A few more silent moments passed before he said, “Listen… that--well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have an ulterior motive for bringing you here.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You’ll have to stand up for it, I’m afraid.”

Loki groaned. “I just got comfortable.”

Lucifer chuckled, stroking Loki’s hair. “I know, I’m sorry. But it’s important.”

With a sigh, Loki sat up and got to his feet. He saw that Lucifer had only risen to his knees and was hiding something behind his back. “What are you doing?”

“I need to ask you something,” Lucifer replied with a smile.

A small smile was pulling at Loki’s mouth, but he fought it. “What do you need to ask me?”

From behind his back, Lucifer produced a small black box, which Loki recognized from its purchase over a year ago. He knew what it was. “I’d like to ask if you’d like to be my husband. So,” he said, opening the box, “would you?”

The smile on Loki’s face finally won over his efforts to contain his joy. He reached out and cupped Lucifer’s cheek with his hand. “Of course I’ll marry you.” Lucifer beamed at him and got to his feet to receive an enthusiastic kiss before Loki let him put the ring on his hand.

They had picked it out together so it would be just right. It was a fidget ring, for Loki’s habit of picking at his hands when he got nervous, with a silver base, and the surrounding band was decorated with tiny emeralds.

“Still like it?” Lucifer asked as they gazed down at it.

“It’s perfect,” Loki replied. “Just like you,” he added before hugging him tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliche endings are good endings, fight me.  
> Anyway, that's all! I hope you enjoyed my first fic up on Ao3. I'm... slightly obsessed with this ship, so I'll be adding a one shot (canon version of the characters), and a 13-chapter fic I wrote on Wattpad. Just so other people can read them.  
> Thanks for sticking around!


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